Join Quinn on Wednesday evening (September 4, 2024, at 1700 MST) for a talk with Dr. Sheldon Solomon, author of The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. Quinn and Sheldon will talk about how artists differ in their response to death anxiety. What can an artist do to harness this powerful psychological phenomenon? Can the knowledge of our impending deaths make us more creative?
“In the City of Crosses” - April 27, 2024
Agreed Madness
It’s our “one month” anniversary today. We’ve been in New Mexico for 30 days, and man, time has whizzed by!!
Between unpacking boxes and running household errands, I’ve been slowly getting back on track to work on my book. I get excited about the thought of actually completing this work. It’s no longer a hope or dream; it’s close to becoming a reality.
“Man literally drives himself into a blind obliviousness with social games, psychological tricks, and personal preoccupations so far removed from the reality of his situation that they are forms of madness—agreed madness, shared madness, disguised and dignified madness, but madness all the same.”
These theories seem simple on the surface, but it takes some deep thinking and evaluation to really understand them and, moreover, to apply them to your life. My hope is that by sharing these ideas and concepts in a book, it will inspire people (especially artists) to engage with these theories and start to share them through their art.
I wrote a while ago about someone asking me if there was a movement in art around “death anxiety.” In other words, Becker’s and Solomon's (et al.) theories could form an entire art movement based on the theories dealing with death anxiety and terror management. This is what happened in existential psychology. There are people working on PhDs in terror management theory and have been for years; why not art? Not unlike impressionism, cubism, dada, etc.
In a lot of ways, all art does address these ideas, but rarely intentionally or consciously. It’s food for thought and a wonderful way to get people to engage with these ideas.
Importance of Creativity
"Both the artist and the neurotic bite off more than they can chew, but the artist spews it back out again and chews it over in an objectified way, as an external, active, work project. The neurotic can’t marshal this creative response embodied in a specific work, and so he chokes on his introversions.
The only way to work on perfection is in the form of an objective work that is fully under your control and is perfectible in some real ways. Either you eat up yourself and others around you, trying for perfection; or you objectify that imperfection in a work, on which you then unleash your creative powers. In this sense, some kind of objective creativity is the only answer man has to the problem of life.
The creative person becomes, in art, literature, and religion, the mediator of natural terror and the indicator of a new way to triumph over it. He reveals the darkness and the dread of the human condition and fabricates a new symbolic transcendence over it. This has been the function of the creative deviant from the shamans through Shakespeare.
Otto Rank asked why the artist so often avoids clinical neurosis when he is so much a candidate for it because of his vivid imagination, his openness to the finest and broadest aspects of experience, and his isolation from the cultural world-view that satisfies everyone else. The answer is that he takes in the world, but instead of being oppressed by it, he reworks it in his own personality and recreates it in the work of art. The neurotic is precisely the one who cannot create." Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
“Existential Dread No. 8,” 8” x 10” acrylic and charcoal on paper.
Existential Dread No. 8
“Existential Dread No. 8,” 8” x 10” acrylic and charcoal on paper.
“Existential Dread No. 8,” 8” x 10” acrylic and charcoal on paper.
“Existential Dread No. 8,” 8” x 10” acrylic and charcoal on paper.
“Existential Dread No. 5,” 8” x 10” acrylic and charcoal on paper.
Existential Dread No. 5
There is something that I find both intriguing and fascinating about non-objective abstracts. Yesterday, I posted my representational abstract, “The Ballad of Curtis Loew,” based on a song and memory. This is a painting I did today based on an idea from within me—nothing representational or based on anything physical, at least when I started the painting. I’ll let the viewer decide what they see or feel in reference to the title. I have to say, I do love the underpainting on this. It gives the piece a lot of depth. It looks really nice in real life.
In the context of evolution, human existential crises may arise from our heightened cognitive abilities and self-awareness. As humans developed intricate thinking processes and self-reflective capacities, an increased awareness of mortality, the quest for meaning, and contemplation of one's existence became more pronounced. While an existential crisis isn't necessarily a flaw, it can be viewed as a consequence of our advanced cognitive functions. It might function as a mechanism for individuals to scrutinize and assess their position in the world, fostering personal growth and the formulation of coping strategies. In this regard, it can be perceived as a beneficial function that motivates individuals to explore purpose and meaning in their lives.
Ernest Becker said, “What does it mean to be a self-conscious animal? The idea is ludicrous if it is not monstrous. It means to know that one is food for worms. This is the terror: to have emerged from nothing, to have a name, a consciousness of self, deep inner feelings, an excruciating inner yearning for life and self-expression, and with all this yet to die. It seems like a hoax, which is why one type of cultural man rebels openly against the idea of God. What kind of deity would crate such complex and fancy worm food?” (The Denial of Death)
“Rocky Mountain Mule Deer Antlers,” 18” x 18” (45,72 x 45,72cm) Mixed Media: Photography, Painting, and Sculpting, August 20, 2023
Something New: Mixed Media; Photography, Painting, and Sculpting
A while ago, I decided I needed to take this work to the next level. I needed to address questions surrounding something “missing” in the work. I wrote an essay a few weeks ago about searching for words like “tactile” and “tangible,” as well as enhancing color—all in the service of decay and impermanence. I wanted to engage the work in an interdisciplinary way—deeper and more involved than simply looking at a photograph. I want to create something that asks to be touched and experienced beyond photography. My goal is to transcend photography and create a “living” piece of art that represents this land, the people that were here, and the theories I’m addressing surrounding all of it.
Colors and Textures: I’ve mimicked the colors of fall as well as the colors found in the antlers. The surface of the canvas is a reminder (in the shapes) of the antlers as well as roots or veins reaching into the earth. The colors and textures in this piece worked very well together. It is tactile, physical, and contains real objects from the land. The antlers on the canvas are the antlers (some of them) in the photograph. It’s also a reference to the Ute’s skillful tanning of buckskin (deer hides). They were known for the quality and beauty of the leather they made.
Canvas Choice (18” x 18" - 45,75 x 45,75cm): It’s simple; the canvas represents the shape of the state of Colorado. I did the same thing when I made the Ghost Dance work: 6” x 6” wet collodion negatives and prints. I just carried that concept over to this project.
Fibonacci Sequences: Living on this mountain for the past three years, I’ve become closer to nature. I go to bed when the sun sets, and I get up when it rises. I’m aware of the seasons like never before. I see plants and animals in all stages of their lives. The flow and balance of nature are both awe-inspiring and beautiful. I’m beyond grateful to have experienced this. I’ve spent a lot of time photographing flora. I can see the patterns and the consistency in them. I studied the Fibonacci sequence and became very interested in it. I’ve posted about it before. I’ve designed these mixed media pieces based on the Goldaen Ratio and Fibonacci sequences. This is the only time I’m going to point out the details in a piece. The photograph has 10 antler tips and 3 bases—that’s 13. The antlers and antler buttons surrounding the image represent the number 8. The layout is on the Golden Ratio grid. You get it.
Symbolism of Circles: The Tabeguache Ute always set up a medicine wheel, or the circle of life, at each camp when they traveled in the spring and fall. For them, it represents the continuous pattern of life and death, the paths of the sun and moon, as well as the shape of the earth and moon, among many other things. I’ve used the idea of circles as a way to recognize that and to give a sense of peering into something eternal yet impermanent—a visual paradox. The Circle of Life is a central theme of Ute life. The Ute people have a unique relationship with the land, plants, and all things living. The Circle of Life represents the unique relationship in its shape, colors, and reference to the number four, which represents ideas and qualities for the existence of life.
I found this in a presentation to Colorado 4th graders. The People of the early Ute Tribes lived a life in harmony with nature, each other, and all of life. The Circle of Life symbolizes all aspects of life. The Circle represents the Cycle of Life from birth to death for people, animals, all creatures, and plants. The early Tabegucahe Utes understood this cycle. They saw its reflection in all things. This brought them great wisdom and comfort. The Eagle is the spiritual guide of the People and of all things. Traditionally, the Eagle appears in the middle of the Circle.
The Circle is divided into four sections. In the Circle of Life, each section represents a season: spring is red, summer is yellow, fall is white, and winter is black. The Circle of Life joins together the seasonal cycles and the life cycles. Spring represents Infancy, a time of birth and newness—the time of “Spring Moon, Bear Goes Out.” Summer is Youth. This is a time of curiosity, dancing, and singing. Fall represents Adulthood, the time of manhood and womanhood. This is the time of harvesting and of change: “When Trees Turn Yellow” and “Falling Leaf Time.” Winter begins with gaining wisdom and knowledge about “Cold Weather Here.” Winter represents old age, a time to prepare for passing into the spirit world.
The Circle also symbolizes the annual journey of the People. On this journey, the People moved from their winter camp to the mountains in the spring. They followed trails known to each family group for generations. The People journeyed to each family group for generations. The People journeyed as the animals did. Following the snowmelt, they traveled up to their summer camps. In the fall, as the weather changed, the People began their journey back to their winter camps. Once again, they followed the animal migrations into lower elevations. They camped near streams, rivers, springs, and lakes. These regions provided winter shelter and warmth.
The early People carried with them an intricate knowledge of nature. They understood how to receive the rich and abundant gifts that the Earth, Sky, and Spirit provided. They also understood how to sustain these gifts. They took only what was needed. The People used the plants, animals, and earth wisely. They gave gifts in return. This knowledge was the People’s wealth.
The Circle of Life is the rich cultural and spiritual heritage of the Tabegucahe Ute. This heritage is still alive in the life cycle and seasonal cycles of today. It still is alive within the harmony of nature. It is reflected in the acknowledgement and practice of honoring and respecting all things, people, and relationships. The Circle design can be found on the back of traditionally made hand drums. These drums are important ceremonial instruments for the People today.
The idea of impermanence and decay plays a big role in my approach to this work. I've tried to develop a deeper appreciation of impermanence, specifically of my own impermanence. It’s important for me to try to make the viewer aware of their mortality through these pieces and the theories they’re based on. Everything I’ve made images of is either dead or changing in some way (entropy). The way I’m building these pieces up—the textures and colors—refers to the idea of both death and decay (impermanence) and life and living. An elevated sense of gratitude for every fleeting moment of life is very important to have. It fosters a significant recognition of the invaluable essence of human existence by observing the natural endings in everyday life, like leaves falling from trees or the decay of organic matter. This helps people connect with the concepts of impermanence and death on a smaller scale. That’s the big connection between my work and these theories.
I find myself contemplating compassion more while doing this work. Thinking about my own struggles with difference. I suppose the wonderful thing about learning about these theories (death anxiety and terror management theory) is that you have a lot of time to think about, or even meditate about, your own death and the deaths of loved ones. In turn, that allows you to come to terms, in some ways, with all of it. Moreover, I’ve found I have a heightened zest for life. A greater appreciation for the cycle of life, or, as the Tabeguache Ute would call it, the Circle of Life.
Currently working on monotypes: I’ve been working with acrylic paint and doing monotypes. I really like them; they have a lot of potential for this project. As time goes on, I’ll post some occasionally. I just wanted to share this mixed media idea I had and my thinking around it.
“Leftovers: What’s Left Behind,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4 cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, August 27, 2023.
This is the first stage in the process: making the photograph. I’ve started doing mixed media pieces on 18” x 18” (45,72 x 45,72cm) canvas. I’m using photography, painting, and sculpture. At some point, I’ll share one or two pieces. Right now, I’m just excited to work through my ideas for a while.
I begin with a photograph, like this one, and use it as a starting point on the canvas-colors, textures, ideas, etc. I’m working in acrylics and making different types of sculptures from various materials. I’m using modeling paste and gesso for the textures and mixing different materials into that, mostly materials from the land.
I find incredible joy in working like this. It’s so satisfying and allows me to expand ideas and work in an interdisciplinary fashion. Like the theories I’m basing this work on, which are interdisciplinary, I find the connection to be powerful and very supportive.
The Act of Creating Art is Terror Management
“Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order to blindly and dumbly rot and disappear forever. It is a terrifying dilemma to be in and to have to live with.
Man has a symbolic identity that brings him sharply out of nature. He is a symbolic self, a creature with a name, a life history. He is a creator with a mind that soars out to speculate about atoms and infinity, who can place himself imaginatively at a point in space and contemplate bemusedly his own planet. This immense expansion, this dexterity, this ethereality, this self-consciousness gives to man literally the status of a small god in nature, as the Renaissance thinkers knew.
The knowledge of death is reflective and conceptual, and animals are spared it. They live and they disappear with the same thoughtlessness: a few minutes of fear, a few seconds of anguish, and it is over. But to live a whole lifetime with the fate of death haunting one’s dreams and even the most sun-filled days—that’s something else.”
THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WE CAN ASK OURSELVES
What’s the most important question, or questions, that a human being can ask? Have you ever thought about that? I have. A lot. For me, and I believe for all humanity, the most important questions revolve around existence. Why am I here? What’s my purpose? Is there a meaning to life? If there is, what is it?
These are the questions that started me on my journey almost 40 years ago. For most of my life, I’ve used photography to explore these questions. Examining why some people are treated differently than others and pondering why the gulf between individuals exists. It was the beginning of my quest to understand what drives human behavior. There is the direct question of purpose, too. Religions were created to answer these questions, but they answer them based on faith, not empirical evidence. There’s evidence that the earliest homo sapiens invented and practiced some kind of religion. Humans have always depended on some kind of supernatural belief. Why is this? The answer is simple: to deal with the knowledge of death and quell the existential anxiety that arises from that knowledge. Death anxiety is a powerful driver in daily life, and most people never know that it is directing their lives. We do all kinds of things to distract ourselves from consciously thinking about our deaths. These distractions can be good or bad. Religions have been the main staple for staving off death anxiety for millennia. Things have changed in the last 300 years. The Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution (technology) have given rise to people leaving religion and leaning on new constructs to quell their death anxiety. This is why Friedrich Nietzsche said, “God is dead.” He was referring to technology, money, fame, etc., freedom from religion, and personal growth. A form of terror management.
Human beings have an unconscious desire for immortality. We simply can’t face the fact of death or non-existence; it’s what we fear most, whether we know it or not, and most don’t. Ernest Becker wrote, “Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order blindly and dumbly to rot and disappear forever”. This quote is from Becker's 1973 book, The Denial of Death.
Pessimistic philosophers would tell you that life is a mistake. The overabundance of consciousness (the knowledge of mortality) is an evolutionary misstep. Peter Zapfee talks about the “suffering of brotherhood,” saying that the true knowledge of how much pain and suffering there is in the world is unbearable. The "brotherhood of suffering" is a concept in The Last Messiah by Peter Wessel Zapffe. In the parable, a paralyzed hunter recognizes that the animal's fear and hunger are similar to his own. The hunter then feels a great psalm about the brotherhood of suffering among everything alive.
Zapffe believed that the human condition is tragically overdeveloped and that the world is beyond humanity's need for meaning. He viewed the world as unable to provide any answers to fundamental existential questions.
While I’m not a pessimist, I can see the value of arguments like Zapffe’s. There are no answers to these big questions. There are only distractions to keep us from thinking about them. That’s what terror management theory addresses. How we distract ourselves from the reality of living—that there is no meaning or purpose in life. And that we will die and be forgotten.
The illusions or cultural constructs (cultural worldviews) we lean on to quell our death anxiety are everywhere: religion, politics, having children, getting married, sports, money, fame, degrees, awards, jobs, social status, drugs, alcohol, shopping (tranquilizing with the trivial)—anything to bolster our self-esteem and keep the existential anxiety repressed—and it works, and it works well. If you spend any time on social media, you can easily spot what people rely on to buffer their anxiety. I’ve seen people deeply identify with their vehicles, photography achievements, how long they’ve been married, their new clothes and “look,” the celebrity they met or the concert they attended, and so many other (too much information) things that are meaningless and trivial. What they don’t understand is that no one really cares.
Humans have evolved to suppress or repress this knowledge—to distract ourselves and deny our mortality. We had to, or we wouldn’t have survived. I read a book a while ago called "Denial: Self-Deception, False Beliefs, and the Origins of the Human Mind" by Ajit Varki and Danny Brower. The book presents a theory on the origins of the human species. It explains why denial is a key to being human. The authors argue that humans separated themselves from other creatures because they became self-aware of their own and others' mortality. They then developed a way to deny that mortality. The book offers a warning about the dangers of our ability to ignore reality. It asks why other intelligent animals have not evolved like humans. The authors' answer is that humans have crossed a major psychological evolutionary barrier by developing the ability to deny reality. The theory of mind (TOM) plays a big role in this evolutionary step. I highly recommend reading the book.
Where does that leave us? Well, for some of us who don’t lean on some of the aforementioned illusions, there is art. Art is our distraction and our buffer. The coping mechanism we use to repress the knowledge of our deaths works well. It gives us meaning and significance and makes us feel like we are part of something bigger than ourselves—that maybe our art will live on after we are gone (symbolic immortality). Regardless of what we do, what we create, or where it ends up or not, the function of art is an important one.
WHY DO WE MAKE ART?
No one is going to save the world by making art. That’s not difficult to understand, and I think we can all agree on that. However, living a creative life can bring peace and satisfaction. And it can bolster your self-esteem. That’s really the function of art. It’s to allow creative people to transfer their existential anxiety onto an object (sublimation), into music, or onto a written page. I’ll talk more about this in a minute. So, we make art to keep our neurosis in check. To bring us meaning and significance and to quell our death anxiety. That’s the function of art. And if people like it after all of that, great! But that’s not the reason or function of art.
THE TWO THINGS THAT I HAVE GREAT CONFIDENCE IN SAYING ARE TRUE
I’ve studied the theories of Ernest Becker, Solomon, et al. (TMT) since 2018. And for the past two years, I’ve engaged with these ideas more deeply than I ever have before. Through these studies, I’m convinced of a couple of things.
CREATING ART IS TERROR MANAGEMENT
First, creating art is done in the service of terror management (TMT). One of the ubiquitous characteristics of human art throughout history and across cultures is the attempt to come to terms with mortality and achieve symbolic forms of immortality. In essence, saying, “I was here” or “remember me!” And the act itself buffers our existential dread. I’m convinced of that. There have been many philosophers, even beyond Becker, who have eluded to this. Peter Zapfee called in sublimation. He said it was the best form of terror management, but few people could do it. He wrote in his essay, The Last Messiah (1933), "Sublimation is the refocusing of energy away from negative outlets toward positive ones. Through stylistic or artistic gifts, the very pain of living can sometimes be converted into valuable experiences. Positive impulses engage the evil and put it to their own ends, fastening onto its pictorial, dramatic, heroic, lyric, or even comic aspects. To write a tragedy, one must to some extent free oneself from—betray—the very feeling of tragedy and regard it from an outer, e.g., aesthetic, point of view. Here is, by the way, an opportunity for the wildest round-dancing through ever higher ironic levels into a most embarrassing circulus vitiosus. Here one can chase one's ego across numerous habitats, enjoying the capacity of the various layers of consciousness to dispel one another. The present essay is a typical attempt at sublimation. The author does not suffer; he is filling pages and is going to be published in a journal."
Ernest Becker wrote, “Both the artist and the neurotic bite off more than they can chew, but the artist spews it back out again and chews it over in an objectified way, as an external, active work project. The neurotic can’t marshal this creative response embodied in a specific work, and so he chokes on his introversions.”
In essence, we’re all neurotic to some degree. It’s part and parcel of the dilemma of existing. The creative life offers something that no other form of terror management can: a literal outlet for existential terror.
Becker goes on to say, "The only way to work on perfection is in the form of an objective work that is fully under your control and is perfectible in some real ways. Either you eat up yourself and others around you, trying for perfection; or you objectify that imperfection in a work, on which you then unleash your creative powers. In this sense, some kind of objective creativity is the only answer man has to the problem of life.
The creative person becomes, in art, literature, and religion the mediator of natural terror and the indicator of a new way to triumph over it. He reveals the darkness and the dread of the human condition and fabricates a new symbolic transcendence over it. This has been the function of the creative deviant from the shamans through Shakespeare.
Otto Rank asked why the artist so often avoids clinical neurosis when he is so much a candidate for it because of his vivid imagination, his openness to the finest and broadest aspects of experience, his isolation from the cultural world-view that satisfies everyone else. The answer is that he takes in the world, but instead of being oppressed by it he reworks it in his own personality and recreates it in the work of art. The neurotic is precisely the one who cannot create.” Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death, 1973
TRIBALISM AND “OTHERING”
And secondly, the way we form tribes and go after the “other” whoever that may be to you. This is what my project (In the Shadow of Sun Mountain: The Psychology of Othering and the Origins of Evil) is about. I’m explaining the reasons for genocide, ethnocide, racism, xenophobia, hate, etc. through these theories. I’ve found that people often talk about these events but never give any solid reasons for why they happen. That’s one of my objectives in this work. I’ve also written quite an extensive section about my own journey. Starting with my own death awareness around the age of eight. I share life stories of death, othering, and the negative effects of in-groups and out-groups. In all of that, I revisited my interest in photography. How I started, what I’ve been interested in, and how this work is really the culmination of 35 plus years of thinking, wondering, and pursuing these ideas.
I recently read a great article on Alternet.org by Bobby Azarian. He is a cognitive neuroscientist and the author of the book The Romance of Reality: How the Universe Organizes Itself to Create Life, Consciousness, and Cosmic Complexity. He wrote, "Terror management theory is more relevant than ever because it provides an explanation for tribalism, which is really at the core of this mystery. The theory suggests that existential terror—which can be triggered by anything that is perceived to pose a threat to one’s existence—is the reason we adopt cultural worldviews, such as our religions, national identities, or political ideologies. In an attempt to mitigate our fears, we latch onto philosophies that give our lives meaning and direction in a chaotic world.
But how does this explain tribalism, exactly?
When we're fearful or threatened, we rally around those who share our worldviews. We become aggressive toward those who don't. More alarmingly, perceived threats or existential fears—immigrants, transgender people, gun grabbing, government conspiracies, humiliation at the hands of "liberal elites”—can stir up nationalism and sway voting habits toward presidential candidates with authoritarian personalities. For example, a study found that when primed to think about their deaths, American students who self-identified as conservatives showed increased support for drastic military interventions that could lead to mass civilian casualties overseas. Another study found that after the 9/11 terror attack, support for then-President George W. Bush spiked, ultimately resulting in his re-election."
My journey studying these theories has been life-altering. I find myself more understanding of human behavior and more tolerant and patient. I’m more open to people’s beliefs and what they lean on to quell their anxiety. As long as their beliefs aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else, I say go for it; we need to find meaning and significance in our lives to make this journey bearable.
I’m grateful and humble (or try to be) for each day I’m above ground. I’m in awe of life and the mystery of it all—my finitude and smallness are always present in my mind; I’m fully present to my cosmic insignificance. I understand that I really don’t know anything, and what I do know is very limited and only in a certain context. I have very little certainty about anything (save what I mentioned in this essay). Life is wonderful, but rarely, if ever, is it black and white. I walk in the world of the “hard place,” not the “rock place.” We are all trying our best to manage our existential terror, whether we know it or not, and most don’t.
“Dead Foxtail and My History on My Arm,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4 cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print August 12, 2023
This was an exciting image for me to make. Jeanne helped me do it (she did a great job). I wasn’t going to do any “human” photographs for this project. However, I’ve lived these stories and felt that a self-portrait might be a powerful addition to the work, I’m over-the-moon about this print. You’ll see a version of it in the book, for sure.
The Human Flight from Death: The Driving Force of Civilization
In the Shadow of Sun Mountain: The Psychology of Othering and the Origins of Evil}
The people who follow my writing here know that the concept of my project and book is based on Ernest Becker’s theories of death anxiety and the denial of death. Additionally, Sheldon Solomon, Jeff Greenberg, and Tom Pyszczynski—the creators of terror management theory (TMT) and authors of "The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life"—have had a significant influence on it.
My objective is to describe or explain these theories in relation to the genocide, removal, and general marginalization of the Tabeguache-Ute (known today as Uncompahgre-Ute) indigenous people. I live on their land in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, U.S.A.
I'm using art to accompany the theories. And I'm also exploring my own dilemma of coming to terms with death. This work is multifaceted, but the main objective is to communicate WHY these kinds of things happen in the world, past and present. Moreover, there are reasons why they will never stop happening.
Death: It’s a difficult topic to talk about, and we’ve evolved to repress and deny it. We've had to psychologically repress this knowledge; if we weren't able to, we would be paralyzed with anxiety and dread. We use culture to do this. All kinds of pursuits help us distract ourselves from thinking about our impeding death, which could happen at any time for any reason, unknown to us. This has a lot more implications than we realize. I recently read an article by John Gray on Substack.com. He is clear, concise, and hits all of the points of both Becker and The Worm at the Core psychologists, Solomon et al.
He wrote:
“An idea of an afterlife emerged along with human beings.
Around 115,000 years ago, graves were being fashioned containing animal bones, flowers, medicinal herbs, and valuables such as ibex horns. By 35,000–40,000 years ago, complete survival kits—food, clothing, and tools—were being placed in graves throughout the world. Humankind is the death-defined animal.
As humans became more self-aware, the denial of death became more insistent. For the American cultural anthropologist and psychoanalytical theorist Ernest Becker (1924–74), the human flight from death has been the driving force of civilization. Fear of death is also the source of the ego, which humans build in order to shield themselves from helpless awareness of their passage through time to extinction.
More than most, Becker’s life was formed by encounters with death. At the age of eighteen, he joined the army and served in an infantry battalion that liberated a Nazi extermination camp.
When he was dying of cancer in hospital in December 1973, he told a visitor, the philosopher Sam Keen: ‘You are catching me in extremis. This is a test of everything I’ve written about death. And I’ve got a chance to show how one dies.’
Becker’s theories were set out in The Denial of Death (1973), for which he received a posthumous Pulitzer Prize in 1974, and developed further in Escape from Evil, which appeared two years after his death.” (John Gray)
“Granite & Quartz Rock, Dead Foxtail, and Purple Thistles,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4 cm) Reversal Direct Color Print August 12, 2023
The Diversity in My New Book
In the Shadow of Sun Mountain: The Psychology of Othering and the Origins of Evil (expected to be published sometime in 2024)
You’re going to start seeing some "comps" posted here every once in a while. These are ideas that I have for my book. As I look through the images, some of the pairings absolutely astound me; they are more beautiful and aesthetically pleasing than I could have imagined.
I’m still undecided about how the final layout will look, but I wanted to play with mixing them up—POP with RA-4 color—living with them and running some ideas through my head. I think it looks stunning. I’ve never seen POP prints paired with Color Reversal Direct prints. Gorgeous!
Right now, it’s a 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4 cm) hardcover, full-color book. I expect it to be about 250 pages with over 100 images: RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Prints, Palladiotypes, Platinum-Palladium, Kallitypes (both K1 and K2 variants), Cyanotypes, Calotypes (Paper Negatives), Photogenic Drawings, and much more. The POP prints are from both wet and dry collodion as well as direct contact printing from plant material (photogenic drawings), like Salt prints.
“What do we mean by the lived truth of creation? We have to mean the world as it appears to men in a condition of relative unrepression; that is, as it would appear to creatures who assessed their true puniness in the face of the overwhelmingness and majesty of the universe, of the unspeakable miracle of even the single created object; as it probably appeared to the earliest men on the planet and to those extrasensitive types who have filled the roles of shaman, prophet, saint, poet, and artist. What is unique about their perception of reality is that it is alive to the panic inherent in creation.”
“The Great Mullein” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative and a 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print
“Antlers Are Bone: Profile,” 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, and “Mountain Stone Water Dish,” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative.
“Three Aspens” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative and “Ponderosa Pine and Five White Daisies” 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print
“Antlers Are Bone” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative and a 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print
“Dead Ponderosa and Granite Rock Face” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative and “Dead Daisies in a Glass Graduate," 10” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print
“Red Rock Formation-Fremont County, Colorado,” a 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print and “The Great Aspen Man” Whole Plate Palladiotype from a Calotype (paper negative) Greenlaw’s process.
“Turkey Feathers and Antlers,” a 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print and “Medicine Wheel," a Whole Plate Palladiotype from a wet collodion negative.
“The Great Mullein,” a 10”” x 10” RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print and “Meadow Barley",” Whole Plate Photogenic Drawing from the plant itself (direct contact print).
A stack of prints—almost 200 prints—color, pop, calotypes (paper negatives), photogenic drawings, etc. And I still have about 3 months of image making left this year!
“Mountain Coneflowers: One is Different from the Others, European Silver, and Deer Antlers,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print July 18, 2023
This photograph reminded me of Franz Jägerstätter. When I think of people that I admire and respect, he’s near the top of my list. Read about “A Hidden Life” below.
A Hidden Life
I recently read an article about Terrence Malick’s film, “A Hidden Life.” It’s based on the true story of Austrian farmer Franz Jägerstätter, who was called up to fight but refused to take a loyalty oath to Adolf Hitler and was arrested. He was guillotined on August 9, 1943.
This is a beautiful film. It’s sad and tragic, but very beautiful. The cinematography (photography) is wonderful. It’s not afraid to keep the dialogue to a minimum and allow the visuals to move you both emotionally and also create a sense of awe and wonder. It reflects life and its struggles so well for me. And it also addresses death in a powerful and confrontational way. It fits perfectly with the theories I’ve been studying for years.
This film is very Beckerian (relating deeply to the theories of Ernest Becker). Franz would have understood Becker’s theories well; he lived them. He faces death through the courage of his convictions. Choice was Franz's legacy. It was his power against the Nazis. Choice was his symbolic existence. He accepts its inevitability. He is certain to be killed, but he is also certain that the values he holds dear to him will survive and that his symbolic self will be eternal and outlive his doomed physical body.
He lived an honest, simple life. His gorgeous family was full of love and beauty; he loved them unconditionally, and they loved him back unconditionally. The film does such a good job of showing how much love he had and gave in his life. His gratitude was palpable. His honesty and conviction for truth and justice were clear, powerful and strong.
“The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”
“The Galaxy in a Plant or as a Neuron,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print July 17, 2023
Neurons, also known as nerve cells, send and receive signals from your brain. When I saw this plant, that was the first thing that came to my neurons!
I think George Eliot is expressing the idea that positive change in the world is not solely dependent on big, notable events or the actions of famous individuals. She suggests that the well-being of society is also influenced by the countless unnoticed and unrecorded acts of goodness performed by ordinary people. These "unhistoric acts" may not be documented in history books or widely acknowledged, but they contribute to the betterment of the world.
Eliot emphasizes that the current state of affairs is not as dire as it could have been, and this is partly due to the individuals who have lived virtuous lives despite not receiving recognition or fame. These people, who lead "hidden lives" and eventually rest in "unvisited tombs," have made significant contributions to the world through their integrity, even if their impact remains largely unacknowledged.
Eliot's message underscores the importance of everyday acts of kindness, virtue, and moral responsibility, as they collectively shape the overall well-being of society and counterbalance any potential negativity or injustice that might exist.
The article said, "To lie would have meant he was someone who engaged in the misuse of language so common amongst the Nazis. It would have been a perversion of words to create a false narrative that would only further the Nazis’ violence. It is the timeless self that he wishes to preserve, not just to help him face death but to leave the legacy of choice and thinking independently. So Terrence Malick ends this provocative film with the following words of George Eliot from her masterpiece, Middlemarch: “The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”
“Choice was Franz’s legacy. It was his power against the Nazis. Choice was his symbolic existence.”
“Three Mountain Coneflowers Changing Color,” 10” x 10” (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print July 21, 2023
“Large Red Rock Formation, Fremont County, Colorado,” 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 15, 2023
I couldn’t be more pleased with this image. What a color shift!! And the clouds!! I love it. This is the same large rock formation I made wet and dry collodion negatives and POP prints from - I’ll show them side-by-side in the book. The vignetting is beautiful on this too.
The Challenge of Doing Something Different: Examining the Creative Life
Without matte, a full 10” square
MAKING STUFF
I often think about the act of creating something and what it means—a photograph, making a knife (blade-smiting and blacksmithing), or writing something meaningful. What is it that drives us to create? I’ve been reading and thinking about this question for some time. It falls right in line with Becker’s theories; in fact, it’s right at home with terror management theory. Otto Rank believed that art and creativity were essential for human psychological health and development. He argued that art serves as a way for individuals to express their innermost desires, fears, and conflicts. According to Rank, the artist is a heroic figure who confronts and transcends the existential anxieties and limitations of human existence through the act of creation.
“Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. And his hope for other people is that they will also make it exist by observing it. I call it ‘creative observation.’ Creative viewing.”
In reality, there are many reasons human beings create “things.” Most of the reasons are somewhat superficial or commercial. I feel the predominant one is rooted in the quest for immortality. We fear dying, mostly because we fear being forgotten and our lives being insignificant. Becker said, “What man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance.” I can understand that, at least intellectually. At times, I feel like my creative life and the objects that I create are meant for another time or different people in a different time. In the same way, I look at work created long ago that resonates deeply with me. Maybe it’s just me justifying a fear or a desire, but I think it’s rooted in my unconscious desire for symbolic immorality. There is also an immediate and significant reward; it gives my life meaning and significance. I can see the short- and long-term anxiety buffer in having a creative life.
"Three Mountain Coneflowers in Moon Rocks," 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 13, 2023
Tea was made from the leaves and flower heads. Native Americans boiled prairie coneflower leaves and stems to make a solution that was applied externally to draw the poison out of rattlesnake bites. An infusion was used to relieve the pain of headaches and treat stomachaches and fevers.
BEING YOURSELF AND CREATING SOMETHING UNIQUE
Different is good, right? We hear that often. Why do we think that being different is good? It’s usually applied to people who are pushing the boundaries and challenging the status quo of something. We hear it chanted often because mediocrity breeds contempt. Meaning that the more familiar you are with something or someone, the more likely you are to find fault with it or them. Human beings thrive on diversity and uniqueness. However, a lot of people resist anything different and want things to remain known, comfortable, and predictable. The truth is that we are at our best when we challenge ourselves and get out of our comfort zones. Most people know that, but most are afraid to do it. They’re afraid to fail.
“ An artist, a man truly worthy of this great name, must possess something essentially his own, thanks to which he is what he is and no one else.” This applies to women as well - remember the context of the time.”
How can artists challenge themselves? Hasn’t it all been done before? For the most part, yes, it has all been done before in one way or another. What’s unique is how YOU are applying the concepts, ideas, processes, methods, etc. to the work and the narrative as a whole. You are the difference. Period.
You are something that’s never been before and will never be again. That’s what makes artwork unique—its creator. So, if you copy or emulate someone or something else, you lose that edge—you lose the only thing that will make your work different or unique. I know it’s tempting to always make images that are familiar and that people can easily connect to, but remember, it breeds contempt! Thinking through a compelling idea, question, or concern is the only thing that will make you stand out from all of the others making photographs of the same old stuff or trying to “wow” people by working in some obscure process or using expensive or rare equipment (especially without context or a narrative or story).
This is the reason that I rant so often about the physicality (hand-made or deeply involved connection) of making artwork. It’s the best way to ensure that human beings (you) did the work, not a machine, computer, or software—but that’s an argument for another day.
Charles Baudelaire said, "An artist, a man truly worthy of this great name, must possess something essentially his own, thanks to which he is what he is and no one else." This applies to women as well; remember the context of the time. This quote sums up the ideas that I’m talking about in this essay.
If you want to challenge yourself or push yourself, do something that you never thought you’d do. At least try it. Break some rules and try to tell your story in a different, unconventional way. Don’t follow the advice of the masses: “It’s supposed to look like this or that.” Make it yours; make it fit your story in a new and unique way. Be true to yourself; don’t allow the pressures of tradition to dictate how you express yourself. In the end, your audience is just one: YOU! It’s great if other people “get it” or appreciate it, but it’s more important that you create it in your own unique style, authentic and true, whatever that looks like.
"White Poppy," 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 13, 2023
Long before Europeans discovered North America, Native Americans were aware of the biological activities of extractions from poppies and using Argemoneas source of medicines. They used concoctions derived from poppies for anesthetizing fish, sedating humans, removing warts, treating cold sores, cuts, scrapes, and congestion associated with colds and flu, and as a soporific, an emetic, and a laxative. The first Americans had other uses for poppies as well, including dyes for fabrics and tattoos.
"White Poppy," 6.5” x 8.5” Palladiotype from a Paper Negative (Calotype), September 21, 2022
Long before Europeans discovered North America, Native Americans were aware of the biological activities of extractions from poppies and using Argemonea as a source of medicines. They used concoctions derived from poppies for anesthetizing fish, sedating humans, removing warts, treating cold sores, cuts, scrapes, and congestion associated with colds and flu, and as a soporific, an emetic, and a laxative. The first Americans had other uses for poppies as well, including dyes for fabrics and tattoos.
"Three Mountain Coneflowers, Antlers (as bleached bones), Rocky Mountain Wheat Grass and European Silver," 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 13, 2023
Tea was made from the leaves and flower heads. Native Americans boiled mountain coneflower leaves and stems to make a solution that was applied externally to draw the poison out of rattlesnake bites. An infusion was used to relieve the pain of headaches and treat stomachaches and fevers.
I’m starting to put these images together as diptychs. They look beautiful together—different languages saying the same thing. I love it.
“Damaged Willow Tree, Fremont County, Colorado,” 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 15, 2023
The iPhone snap of this isn’t that great, but the print looks wonderful. I’m very happy with the results of this process. Lightning struck or a wind storm tore this willow tree apart. It was a very dramatic scene. I love how the clouds show up in the image. This is a very painterly image to me.
Without matte, a full 10” square
“White Poppies In a Field in Fremont County, Colorado,” 10"x10" (25,4 x 25,4cm) RA-4 Reversal Direct Color Print, July 15, 2023
I never really know exactly what I’m going to get with this color reversal process. What I hope for is either muted colors or shifted colors. Colors that are just enough to seem real or accurate but shifted just enough to make you wonder about what you’re seeing.
I was very pleased in the darkroom today to see this appear in the developer. I’m reminded of an old Polaroid or expired film from the 1960s. I really like how it evokes memories with its aesthetic. The white poppies are blooming everywhere right now. They look wonderful on the landscape.