Putting Lipstick On a Pig

You’ve heard the saying, right? “Putting lipstick on a pig.” Trying to dress something up to make it more palatable or appealing when, deep down, it’s still just a pig (no offense to pigs). No matter how much gloss or glitter you apply, the truth remains stubbornly beneath the surface. It’s a futile act of denial. Yet, we do it anyway. Why? Because facing reality, raw and unfiltered, is terrifying.

Let’s get real for a moment. What are you putting lipstick on? Your art? Your career? Your relationships? Maybe even yourself? I’d bet there’s at least one thing in your life you’re trying to disguise, hoping it’ll pass muster under closer scrutiny. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: if you know, others probably do too. We’re not as good at hiding as we think we are.

For years, I tried to dress things up to make my work—and myself—look more appealing, more acceptable. It’s exhausting. Worse, it’s dishonest. The turning point for me came through my obsession with art, philosophy, and psychology. They handed me an unexpected gift: the ability to toss the lipstick in the trash and embrace life for what it is—fully and unconditionally.

There’s a strange, profound freedom in stripping everything down to its essence. It’s about knowing who you are, what you’re doing, and most importantly, why you’re doing it. It’s about standing firmly in your truth—warts, wrinkles, and all. Of course, none of this erases the existential dread we all carry. But it lets you face it head-on, without pretense.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a sage possessing all the answers; far from it. I’m as susceptible to the human condition as anyone else. Death anxiety, self-doubt, the gnawing ache of impermanence—it’s all there. But here’s the difference: I’ve stopped fighting it. I’ve stopped pretending it’s not there. Instead, I acknowledge it, sit with it, and even let it guide me. It’s not about triumphing over these fears but learning to live with them, unvarnished and unapologetic.

So, what would happen if you ditched the lipstick? What would your art, your life, or your relationships look like if you let them be exactly what they are? No dressing up, no cover-ups, just the raw, unadulterated truth. It’s scary, sure. But maybe, just maybe, it’s also the most honest and liberating thing you’ll ever do.

Jean-Paul Sartre said, "Man is condemned to be free." That freedom, for Sartre, is both exhilarating and terrifying because it comes with the weight of full responsibility. There’s no script, no preordained path—just the choices we make and the truths we embrace. In the context of ditching the lipstick, Sartre’s idea of freedom means owning your life completely, without excuses or illusions. It’s not about perfection or acceptance from others; it’s about the radical act of living authentically, no matter how messy or unpolished it looks.

When you accept this freedom, you also accept the burden of it. You’re no longer hiding behind societal expectations or personal delusions. You’re standing in the open, exposed, with all your imperfections on display. But in that vulnerability lies the real beauty. Because when you create—whether it’s art, relationships, or meaning itself—from a place of authenticity, you’re not just living; you’re transcending. That’s the kind of freedom Sartre was talking about. And maybe that’s the kind of freedom we all need to stop putting lipstick on pigs and start facing life as it really is—can you imagine?

Dance in the mystery of it all! Embrace the absurd—revolt against the meaninglessness!

I've Finally Deleted My Social Media Accounts: But That's Not the Point

FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM ARE DELETED!

It’s taken me forever to do this! Facebook and Instagram make it ridiculously difficult to do—another reason to quit them. I’ll talk about the bigger reasons later in this post.

I’m keeping my YouTube channel and will post videos there from time to time.

But who cares, right? Which brings me to my rant.

THE REALITY IS: NOBODY CARES

It’s not the first time I’ve said this, but I’ll say it again in celebration of unchaining myself from the AI algorithms: Nobody cares about your artwork, your interests, or your life (in general).

And this applies to me, first and foremost.

I understand that those are challenging words to read! I get it. But it’s true. And if you give me a chance to make my case, you’ll see why this is essential to embrace and believe. I might even say you should embody this idea. I learned this a long time ago. It’s not a negative thing. In the end, it will help drive your art and your life in a better, more authentic, peaceful direction.

I recommend that you find your own space to post your work—without any expectations—simply to quell your anxiety and satisfy the psychological need to offer art and ideas to the world. That’s what I do here. If people read it, great. If they don’t, great. The idea is to have an outlet that’s not tied to social media companies scraping your data and personal information.

“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, and when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.”

— Anonymous

I’m not saying people want bad things to happen to you; they don’t (for the most part anyway). I’m saying that your day-to-day life and your hobbies, interests, and activities are meaningless to them.

They don’t care.

They don’t have the time or energy to care. They’re too busy trying to earn a living (money), working a job, paying bills, taking care of children, spouses, partners, parents, health issues, and other stuff. Life stuff.

They’re preoccupied, and it doesn’t involve anything you’re doing. Life is very challenging for most people. There’s no room for your obscure interests and strange ramblings (I’m projecting here a bit *wink*).

You might be thinking, “Wait a minute! People send me emails and give me likes about my work.” I know. There are people who do that. Some may show passing interest, but that’s it. You need to realize that after they click the “like” or “heart” icon, two minutes later they’ve forgotten about you and your work.

And when they send you an email or message, they’re usually after something. And yes, they might even include compliments about your work. It’s mostly a quid-pro-quo kind of thing. This is not a hard and fast fact, but the majority of the time it’s true. People are selfish. I’m sure you know that already.

When you come to terms with this, you’ll stop striving for people’s attention and accolades (it’s your attempt at bolstering your self-esteem to quell your existential dread). You will realize that it’s meaningless and a waste of your time and energy—it will burn you out—I’ve seen it happen.

If you face the fact that it’s YOU who are interested in what YOU are doing, and if you’re authentic and sincere, you won’t give a second thought to what others think. Even if they show some superficial interest in what you’re saying or doing. Make the work, put it out there, and let go—that’s all you need to do. Period.

This is true creative freedom for me. Life-changing freedom. It brings peace and gratitude into your life.

Years ago, I realized that my education, life experiences, exhibitions, published books, artwork sales, book sales, workhops (teaching), etc. mean nothing to anyone except me. It sounds like navel gazing, but it’s not.

Understanding this means coming to terms with where you derive meaning and significance—the two things that we need for psychological equilibrium.

I’ve chosen the life of an artist or creative person as my buffer against death anxiety. We all need to find something. You can pick a “nondestructive myth” or a “destructive myth” (to use Pruyser’s terminology). "Nondestructive myths" function as psychological shields against death anxiety, a key theme in terror management theory. Pruyser’s notion of cultivating illusions that "will not deteriorate into delusions" aligns with the psychological challenge of balancing necessary fictions (like cultural worldviews and personal identities) with reality—especially when these fictions protect us from existential dread but, when rigid, can foster denial and destructive behavior—i.e., "destructive myths.”

The fantasy has always been to have a community where artists understand and support one another. That doesn’t exist and never will. Human beings are too irrational, too self-centered, and too selfish for those to exist.

Embrace your solitude. You should actively choose to spend time alone in this respect, not feeling lonely but instead using the time to focus on yourself, reflect on your thoughts and feelings, and engage in creating art that brings you personal fulfillment, essentially seeing the positive aspects of being alone and making art a conscious part of your life.

That’s both meaningful and significant.

DELETING MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS AND THE CHANGING WORLD

I have to be honest; the political environment played a big role in my decision. Not 100%, but it played a part. And this was pre-election (America).

What’s happened to this country? What’s happened to the people here? We need to teach critical thinking, media literacy, and civics in school again. But I know it’s too late.

I’m reminded of the book The Fourth Turning by Howe and Strauss. According to them, we’re in the fourth turning now—the crisis period. “This is an era of destruction, often involving war or revolution, in which institutional life is destroyed and rebuilt in response to a perceived threat to the nation's survival. After the crisis, civic authority revives, cultural expression redirects toward community purpose, and people begin to locate themselves as members of a larger group.” (pg. 103-104)

It’s about generational memory loss. Every 80-100 years, called a saeculum, the world has faced the same thing, over and over again. If you’re unfamiliar with the book. You should read it. It’s grounded in historical events that are connected through these cycles.

The dark side of social media is real as well. Narcissism abounds on these platforms. It’s most often the people who are the most insecure (hence the narcissism) that do this. Most people post with the (unconscious) desire to show how their life is wonderful and much better than yours. “Look how successful, pretty, rich, etc. I am!” It’s a sad state of affairs. The curated lives on these platforms are phony beyond words. It has a detrimental effect on young, vulnerable people’s mental health. Look at the suicide rates of the young and vulnerable—social media has played a role in that.

Social media has also played a big part in this political and environmental meltdown. The misinformation and disinformation abound. It’s a platform for people to show their Dunning-Kruger effect on any topic. They’ll argue about anything and be right and certain about it.

The anti-intellectualism is terrible on social media—glaring in your face every time you log on. I can’t expose myself to that kind of stuff any longer. My head spins when I see flat-earth believers arguing with scientists, telling them that they’ve “done their research.” My head spins when I see videos of people talking about the U.S. government creating hurricanes and tornadoes. Conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. No more for me; I’ve tapped out.

It’s true that social media created an environment where creatives could post whatever they make and hope to get sales, subscriptions, revenue, etc. If your goal is financial-based or you’re seeking recognition, it might work for a month or two, but there will be a heavy price to pay mentally and other ways. It’s just not worth it. Period.

This has led so many people down the rabbit hole of inauthenticity and burnout.

Algorithms (AI) now control most of the internet. And it will only get worse from here.

In order to even be seen (or listed anywhere in people’s feeds), you need to design content for the AI algorithm, not what you’re truly interested in.

I see this on YouTube quite a bit. People create content that is over-the-top, unreal, fake, and weird. It’s a bit unsettling to me to see people sell out like that. They know it needs to be sensational or people won’t watch it, share it, or “like” it. And if they don’t do that, the content is deprioritized. Nobody will see it.

The best content I’ve ever seen online has very few followers and very few views. That says a lot to me—volumes, in fact. I get it. My interests and commerce have very little in common.

It’s a game that deals with eyeballs, clicks, and revenue.

Quinn by the Palm Trees - Las Cruces, New Mexico. November 2024

SO WHAT’S YOUR POINT?

I make art and write primarily to quell my existential concerns. That’s first and foremost.

I study, write, read, and explore in hopes of understanding the human condition a bit better. I want to understand myself better, too.

That’s important for me because I would like to contribute on the macro level (big picture) of conversation about existential struggles. I’m not concerned about whether I’ll be remembered or not—I know I won’t be.

I want to add a line to the discourse—even anonymously—that is helpful in some way of making existing a little easier to understand. I want to share ideas about creativity and psychology. That’s all I want to do—Becker would say I’m grasping for symbolic immortality—and I would say he’s probably correct.

To reiterate, nobody cares about my photographs, paintings, or art. They don’t care about some obscure anthropologist’s theories I espouse. They don’t care about what degrees I have or what exhibitions or books I’ve published. Nobody cares about what I think in general.

What people care about is furthering their existence—supporting and bolstering their worldviews or meaning systems—with ideas and information that support them.

If I offer a nugget of information or inspiration here or there that they can connect to, that’s all that matters. They’ll take it, and they’ll move on to the next resource to see what they can get. That’s all.

In the end, it’s all meaningless. We’re just trying to lean on whatever we can to get through each day.

If you can see yourself as an anonymous contributor to the “big picture,” you will not only bolster your self-esteem; you’ll be more in touch with what’s real and not connected to an illusion of ego and importance.

Think about your cosmic insignificance. I really like what Zapffe said in The Last Messiah, "The life of the worlds is a roaring river, but Earth's is a pond and backwater. The sign of doom is written on your brows—how long will you kick against the pinpricks?"

I know you don’t care, but from this point forward, the only place you’ll find my work is here and on my YouTube channel. Feel free to join in or not. It’s all going to be okay—go the way of the grasshopper and be content. That’s what I’m trying to do.

“…that it takes sixty years of suffering and effort to make such an individual, and then he is good only for dying. This painful paradox is not lost on the person himself — least of all himself. He feels agonizingly unique, and yet he knows that this doesn’t make any difference as far as the ultimates are concerned. He has to go the way of the grasshopper, even if takes longer.”

— Ernest Becker