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Exploring Human Behavior and Death Anxiety Through Art
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Developing My Rupture Field Theory

Quinn Jacobson March 5, 2026

Rupture Field Theory

A Practice-Based Theoretical Framework

Quinn Jacobson

Draft for Trilogy — March 2026

 

Rank asked why the artist so often avoids clinical neurosis when he is so much a candidate for it because of his vivid imagination, his openness to the finest and broadest aspects of experience, and his isolation from the cultural worldview that satisfies everyone else. The answer is that he takes in the world, but instead of being oppressed by it he reworks it in his own personality and recreates it in the work of art. The neurotic is precisely the one who cannot create—the 'artiste-manque,' as Rank so aptly called him. We might say that both the artist and the neurotic bite off more than they can chew, but the artist spews it back out again and chews it over in an objectified way, as an external, active work project. The neurotic can't marshal this creative response embodied in a specific work, and so he chokes on his introversions. The artist has similar large-scale introversions, but he uses them as material.

— Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death (1973, p. 49)

Introduction

The question Becker raises here is not merely psychological. It points toward something that practitioners who have worked within destabilizing material recognize but rarely find adequately named: there is a structure to transformation, and that structure is not automatic. It depends on conditions. It fails under certain pressures. And what it produces is neither comfort nor resolution—something that might more accurately be called survival through symbolic form.

Rupture Field Theory attempts to name that structure.

The theory proposes that encounters with existential rupture initiate a recognizable psychological and creative sequence. Rupture occurs when inherited symbolic frameworks fail to contain destabilizing awareness. These disruptions may arise through encounters with mortality, traumatic experience, historical violence, or moments when cultural meaning structures lose their stability. Awareness of mortality, in particular, has long been recognized as a central destabilizing force in human psychology and culture (Becker, 1973).

Most individuals respond to such destabilization through defensive strategies that restore symbolic stability. Research in Terror Management Theory demonstrates that reminders of mortality frequently lead individuals to reinforce cultural worldviews and identities that buffer them from existential anxiety (Greenberg, Pyszczynski, & Solomon, 1986).

Artists, however—by which this theory means practitioners who have developed specific containers for destabilizing experience through training, discipline, and habit—often respond differently. Rather than closing rupture through denial, they frequently remain within destabilizing awareness long enough for transformation to occur. Through creative practice, destabilizing experience is reworked, externalized, and metabolized into symbolic form. What might otherwise produce psychological paralysis becomes material for artistic creation.

Not always. Not inevitably. And never without cost.

Rupture Field Theory attempts to describe the conditions under which this transformation becomes possible, name the phases through which it moves, and identify where and why it can fail.

Epistemological Position

Rupture Field Theory does not emerge from laboratory conditions or clinical observation. It emerges from artistic practice: from decades of working within photography, painting, and critical writing at the intersection of mortality awareness and symbolic form. It belongs to the tradition of practice-based research—a mode of inquiry in which knowledge is generated through and alongside the act of making, where the practitioner's embodied experience functions as both method and data (Sullivan, 2005).

This is not an apology for the theory's origins. It is a statement of its epistemological ground.

Practice-based theoretical frameworks occupy a legitimate and distinct position within qualitative and arts-based research. They do not seek to establish universal mechanism or predictive causality. They propose recognizable structures—patterns that practitioners, therapists, scholars, and artists may inhabit, test against experience, dispute, and refine. Their validity is not measured by experimental replication but by what Eisner (1991) called structural corroboration: the degree to which a framework illuminates experience that was previously unnamed or inadequately described.

RFT makes no claim to explain why rupture becomes creative expression in every case, or to identify the artist as a categorically different kind of human being. It describes a recognizable pathway through which transformation can occur, names its phases, and proposes the conditions that make passage possible. It is offered as a conceptual map, not a predictive mechanism—and the distinction matters.

A conceptual map does not tell you where you will end up. It shows you the terrain.

Theoretical Context

Rupture Field Theory emerges at the intersection of existential psychology, psychoanalytic thought, trauma theory, and creative practice. Each of these traditions contributes to the framework while leaving a gap that the others partially fill.

Becker, Rank, and the Psychology of Artistic Transformation

Ernest Becker's work established that awareness of mortality produces profound and largely unconscious tension within the human condition (Becker, 1973). Drawing directly on Rank, Becker argued that culture itself functions as a system of symbolic immortality projects—structures of meaning that buffer individuals from confrontation with their own finitude. Terror Management Theory later developed these insights empirically, demonstrating that mortality salience leads individuals to defend cultural belief systems with increased intensity (Greenberg et al., 1986).

But the artist complicates this picture. Otto Rank, in Art and Artist (1932), argued that the artist's fundamental task is not self-expression but world-creation: the construction of a symbolic reality capable of containing what ordinary experience cannot hold. The artist does not merely transform anxiety—the artist builds vessels. This distinction is critical and often overlooked in readings that emphasize only the therapeutic dimension of creativity. For Rank, artistic creation is not primarily about the creator's psychological wellbeing; it is about the construction of a symbolic world that can hold more than inherited frameworks provide.

RFT extends this insight: the capacity for symbolic transformation is not only psychological. It is material, technical, and learned. It depends on having developed the practice of building containers.

Terror Management Theory and Its Limits

TMT research consistently demonstrates that when mortality is made salient, individuals reinforce their cultural worldviews, increase their investment in symbolic immortality projects, and derogate those who threaten their meaning systems (Greenberg et al., 1986; Solomon, Greenberg, & Pyszczynski, 2015). This body of work has been enormously productive in documenting the defensive functions of culture.

What TMT describes less precisely is the generative pathway: the cases in which mortality salience does not produce defensive closure but initiates symbolic transformation. RFT addresses this gap by proposing a structured sequence through which rupture—including mortality awareness—can be metabolized into form. TMT maps the defensive response. RFT attempts to map its alternative.

Post-Traumatic Growth: Points of Contact and Departure

The post-traumatic growth tradition of Tedeschi and Calhoun (1996, 2004) represents the most empirically developed framework for understanding positive psychological transformation following rupture. PTG documents the possibility of growth along dimensions including personal strength, existential-spiritual change, and appreciation for life following adverse experiences.

RFT shares with PTG a fundamental orientation: that destabilizing experiences need not only produce damage. But RFT departs from PTG in several significant ways.

PTG tends toward growth as measurable outcome. RFT insists on provisionality: what emerges from rupture is not stable wisdom but unstable meaning, subject to the next disruption. PTG research largely addresses trauma survivors as a population. RFT is specifically concerned with practitioners who deliberately inhabit rupture as a creative and ethical practice—not merely those who encounter it unwillingly. Perhaps most critically, PTG has been critiqued for implicitly suggesting that the correct response to rupture is growth (Sumalla, Ochoa, & Blanco, 2009). RFT refuses this pressure. Transformation through symbolic form is one possible outcome of rupture, not a prescription for how rupture should be managed.

Containment: Winnicott and Bion

Donald Winnicott's concept of the holding environment—a relational structure that allows difficult experience to be processed rather than defensively rejected (Winnicott, 1965)—describes the interpersonal conditions for psychological transformation. W. R. Bion (1962) theorized a deeper structural version of this process: the container-contained relationship as a fundamental structure of thinking itself. Raw, unprocessed experience—what Bion called beta elements—must be held within a container capable of transformation before it can become thinkable symbolic material. In the absence of adequate containment, raw experience overwhelms the psyche and produces not thought but evacuation: projection, acting out, breakdown.

Within artistic practice, the studio, the darkroom, the page, or the ritual of making functions precisely as this container. Creative work becomes the vessel that allows rupture to remain present long enough for transformation to occur. This is not metaphor; it is a functional description of what containers do.

Trauma, the Body, and Somatic Metabolization

Bessel van der Kolk's work on trauma and the body (2014) introduces a dimension that purely cognitive or symbolic theories of transformation tend to underweight. Traumatic experience is not stored as narrative memory; it is stored somatically, in the body's ongoing physiological response to threat. Metabolization is therefore not only a cognitive or symbolic process. It involves the body—breath, posture, sensation, the physical act of making.

This has direct implications for RFT's account of metabolization in Phase Two. The practitioner holding destabilizing material is not holding it only cognitively. The studio practice—the physical handling of materials, the repetitive motion of printmaking, the stillness required for long exposure—is also a somatic practice of containment. The body is part of the vessel.

Being-Toward-Death and the Pressure of Finitude

Heidegger's analysis of being-toward-death in Being and Time (1927/1962) provides the philosophical ground for RFT's insistence on mortality awareness as the primary initiating rupture. For Heidegger, the authentic confrontation with finitude is not morbidity but the condition for genuine existence: only in facing death's inevitability does life acquire the pressure that makes chosen action possible. Inauthenticity, by contrast, is the flight into das Man—the anonymous they-self that absorbs individual anxiety into collective noise.

RFT extends this into creative practice: mortality awareness functions as the initiating pressure for symbolic transformation when it is held rather than refused. The artist who remains with finitude—who does not look away—discovers not transcendence but the irreducible weight that makes the work matter.

The Rupture Field Model

The Rupture Field Model describes the psychological and creative phases through which destabilizing experiences are metabolized. These phases trace a movement from disruption through transformation to integration, and the sequence is cyclical rather than terminal.

Three broad phases structure the model. Not all individuals complete each phase. The process can arrest at any point. Completion does not produce resolution; it produces provisional meaning and return to a destabilized world that will rupture again.

Phase One: Disruption

Rupture — Exposure — Anxiety — Threshold

The first phase marks the collapse of previously stable symbolic structures.

Rupture occurs when inherited frameworks of meaning fail to contain destabilizing awareness. Encounters with mortality, traumatic experiences, historical violence, or worldview collapse may trigger this disruption. Not all ruptures are equal: their intensity varies with the nature of the encounter, the individual's prior history with destabilizing material, and the cultural and material conditions in which the rupture occurs. The theory does not flatten this variation.

A critical distinction within rupture itself must be named: the difference between acute rupture and ambient rupture.

Acute rupture arrives as an event: a death, a diagnosis, an encounter with historical violence, or a sudden collapse of a worldview previously held as stable. It has a before and an after. The disruption is locatable in time.

Ambient rupture operates differently. It does not arrive as a single event. It accumulates as a texture of daily existence—a sustained pressure that gradually makes inherited frameworks untenable without producing a discrete moment of collapse. Climate change is the paradigmatic example of ambient rupture in the contemporary world: it does not rupture you once; it ruptures you continuously, without resolution, at a pace that makes both acute response and gradual adaptation difficult. Political disintegration, economic precarity, the erosion of cultural narratives about progress and safety, the slow violence of systemic inequity—these are ambient ruptures. They do not ask for a single creative response. They ask for a practice of sustained metabolization that has no clear endpoint.

This distinction matters for how each type of rupture moves through the model. Acute rupture tends to produce a recognizable threshold moment—a point at which the individual either retreats defensively or moves deeper. Ambient rupture rarely offers such a clean threshold. Instead, it produces a slow erosion of containment: the vessel does not shatter but gradually loses its integrity. The practitioner working in conditions of ambient rupture must not only metabolize specific material but continually repair and rebuild the container itself. The creative practice becomes not merely a response to rupture but an ongoing structure of resistance against chronic destabilization.

Most people alive today are working within ambient rupture. The contemporary world does not require extraordinary encounters with mortality to generate existential destabilization; the ordinary conditions of being alive and paying attention are sufficient. Wars visible in real time on personal devices. The measurable acceleration of ecological grief. Political frameworks that no longer provide coherent meaning. Economic structures that make provisional stability feel permanently out of reach. These are not exceptional conditions requiring exceptional responses. They are the background of daily life, and the inherited symbolic frameworks—progress, national identity, the promise of continuity—are visibly failing to contain them.

Rupture Field Theory is therefore not a theory about extreme experience. It is a theory about the ordinary contemporary condition of being alive within destabilizing awareness—and what becomes possible when that awareness is held rather than refused.

Following rupture comes exposure. Previously hidden or suppressed dimensions of reality become visible. Assumptions that once structured experience lose their stability. What was background becomes unbearable foreground.

Anxiety emerges as the organism confronts the instability of its symbolic world. Familiar frameworks no longer provide psychological containment. This is not anxiety as minor discomfort; it is anxiety in the existential register—the raw encounter with groundlessness.

The sequence arrives at a threshold. At this point individuals face a decisive moment: they may retreat into defensive denial, restoring symbolic stability by rejecting destabilizing awareness; or they may move deeper into the rupture. This threshold determines whether rupture closes defensively or becomes generative.

The conditions that determine which way this moment resolves are addressed in detail in the following section on threshold conditions.

Phase Two: Processing

Holding — Metabolization — Residue — Trace

This phase represents the psychological hinge of the entire process. It is also the least visible phase—it takes place largely within the practitioner's interior and the enclosed space of creative practice. It cannot be seen from the outside, which may be why it is the phase most frequently undertheorized.

Most individuals resolve rupture through defensive mechanisms that restore symbolic stability (Greenberg et al., 1986). These responses reduce anxiety but prevent deeper transformation. The generative pathway requires something different: holding.

Holding refers to the capacity to remain within destabilizing awareness without prematurely resolving it. The concept draws on both Winnicott's holding environment and Bion's container-contained structure (Bion, 1962; Winnicott, 1965)—the ability of a container to absorb raw, unprocessed experience without retaliation or collapse, allowing it to remain present long enough for transformation to begin. Artists frequently create such environments through studio practice, writing, dialogue, ritual, or contemplative attention. These practices allow destabilizing material to stay present rather than being expelled.

The body participates in holding. The physical discipline of a practice—the repetitive motion, the handling of materials, the regulated breath of close attention—is part of the somatic container (van der Kolk, 2014). Holding is not only psychological.

Through metabolization, fragments of experience begin to reorganize internally. Emotional, cognitive, and somatic elements interact within creative practice, gradually transforming raw experience into workable material. The term metabolization is used deliberately as a biological metaphor: just as the body breaks down and reconstitutes ingested material, the practitioner's process breaks down the raw substance of rupture and reconstitutes it as something the psyche can use. This process cannot be accelerated without loss.

What remains becomes residue—the psychological imprint left by rupture that has been processed but not yet given form.

From this residue emerges trace.

Trace is the most original concept within this framework, and the most precise. It names the early symbolic formation that begins to coalesce from metabolized experience before it has stabilized into fully articulated expression. Trace is not yet meaning. It is the shape of meaning becoming possible.

The concept resonates across several intellectual traditions without belonging entirely to any of them. Derrida (1967/1978) theorized the trace as the mark of difference that enables meaning—the irreducible presence of absence within every act of signification. Levinas (1969) used trace to describe the mark left by the Other's passage, the ethical demand that cannot be fully thematized or contained within one's own system. Within forensic analysis, a trace is what remains after the event: evidence of presence without presence itself.

RFT's use of trace draws on these resonances while departing from them. Here, trace is generative rather than merely indicative. It is not evidence of what has passed but the first intimation of what may yet form. It is the moment in the studio when the practitioner begins to sense—before consciously knowing—that something is taking shape. The first mark on a surface that feels necessary rather than willed. The image that recurs without yet having been made. The phrase that interrupts sleep.

This is why trace cannot be rushed. Post-traumatic growth research tends to move directly from processing to measurable outcome. RFT inserts the trace as a liminal moment—a threshold state of becoming-form that is significant in itself, not merely as a waystation to expression. To rush past trace is to foreclose the possibility of what the rupture was capable of generating.

Langer's analysis of symbolic form in Philosophy in a New Key (1942) offers a complementary framing: before art is statement or communication, it is the felt sense of form—the intuition of significant structure that precedes its articulation. This felt sense is what RFT calls trace.

Phase Three: Expression and Integration

Form — Witness — Provisional Meaning — Return

As internal reorganization stabilizes, trace becomes form. Form represents the moment when symbolic expression is externalized in a specific medium: an artwork, a theoretical framework, a narrative structure, a ritual practice. Form is not the end of the process; it is the moment when the internal becomes available to encounter.

Through witness, these expressions are encountered by others. What began as private experience enters a shared symbolic world. This is not primarily about audience reception—though reception matters—but about the work's capacity to function as testimony. Art that witnesses does not perform resolution; it presents the rupture in stabilized symbolic form, making it available for encounter without pretending to resolve it.

From this encounter emerges provisional meaning. The practitioner begins integrating rupture into an evolving understanding of identity, purpose, and existence. The word provisional is not hedging. It is the theory's most important ethical commitment: meaning remains open to revision. It does not seal the wound. It does not transcend the problem. It creates livable ground.

Return marks reintegration into lived life with a transformed—not healed, not resolved, but transformed—orientation toward reality. The practitioner returns to the world that ruptured them, carrying the trace of what they have made from it.

The Threshold: Enabling Conditions

The threshold moment—the decision point between defensive closure and generative passage at the end of Phase One—is the most consequential moment in the Rupture Field Model. It is also the point the theory must account for most honestly, because it is where the risk of circular reasoning is highest.

A theory that defines artists as people who transform rupture, then explains that artists transform rupture, is not a theory. It is a description. RFT avoids this circularity by proposing a set of enabling conditions—factors that determine whether the threshold is crossable—that are independent of the transformation itself.

These conditions are not prerequisites that must all be present. They are factors that lower the threshold, making passage more available. When multiple conditions are absent, breakdown at the threshold is not a failure of creativity; it is a structural outcome.

Prior Successful Metabolizations

Each completed rupture cycle leaves its own residue: not only the provisional meaning generated but a somatic-cognitive memory that the process is survivable. Practitioners who have worked through rupture before—who have arrived at form from destabilizing material and returned—carry this evidence forward. The threshold lowers with experience. This is partly why younger or less experienced practitioners may be more vulnerable to breakdown at the threshold: they have not yet accumulated evidence that transformation is possible.

An Established Creative Container

Having a practice—a studio, a photographic process, a writing discipline, a ritual of making—means having a vessel already built before rupture arrives. Rupture does not wait for preparation, but the practitioner who has a form to move toward crosses the threshold differently than one who must build the container while the walls are falling. This is why technical discipline in artistic practice is not merely craft: it is the advance preparation of a vessel. Rank's artist builds worlds not only in crisis but in readiness for crisis.

Relational Holding

Winnicott's holding environment does not only describe the mother-infant dyad; it describes any relational structure capable of absorbing and metabolizing anxiety without retaliation or collapse (Winnicott, 1965). Mentors who have modeled the crossing of rupture thresholds, communities of practice that hold the practitioner's identity during destabilization, trusted others who can witness without needing the rupture to resolve—these constitute a relational container that extends individual capacity. No practitioner holds alone, and theories that treat transformation as a solo psychological achievement distort its actual social architecture.

Material and Economic Conditions

This is the condition most systematically absent from existing transformation theories, and its absence is not merely an oversight—it is a distortion that reflects whose experience generates theory.

Holding requires time, space, and the economic permission to remain unproductive during metabolization. These are not equally distributed. A practitioner managing economic precarity, primary caregiving, or ongoing threat cannot afford the same quality of holding that material security provides. Rupture Field Theory does not romanticize the artist's relationship to destabilizing experience. The capacity to remain within rupture long enough for transformation to occur is partly a question of class, race, gender, and structural access to the conditions creative work requires. Any adequate account of artistic transformation must acknowledge that the threshold is not equally available to all.

The Nature and Scale of the Rupture

Not every rupture can be metabolized within a single cycle, or at all. Some encounters with mortality, violence, or worldview collapse exceed any available container. The theory must acknowledge explicitly that the process fails—not because the individual is insufficiently artistic or psychologically weak, but because some ruptures are too sudden, too total, or too uncontained for existing vessels to hold.

The practitioner who breaks under conditions that exceed the container's capacity has not failed the theory. The theory has reached its edge.

The Studio as Vessel: Material Transformation

The alchemical resonances within transformation theories are often invoked as metaphor—a borrowing from mystical tradition to suggest the depth of psychological change. RFT situates these resonances differently.

In photographic practice, particularly in 19th-century processes, the alchemical structure is not metaphor. It is the actual phenomenology of the work.

Silver salts held in darkness. Exposure to light that leaves no immediately visible mark—the image is latent, present but unformed. The developer introduced into the contained environment of the darkroom, where the latent image begins to emerge from what appeared to be undifferentiated surface. Fixation: the moment when what has emerged is stabilized, made permanent enough to withstand further light without dissolution. The image that results is neither the original scene nor its absence. It is a trace.

This is not poetic license. The darkroom is, structurally and materially, a rupture field. The photographic process enacts precisely the sequence the theory describes: disruption of stable surface by exposure, containment within a developing environment, metabolization through chemical action, emergence of trace, fixation into form.

Jung's extended analysis of alchemical transformation in Psychology and Alchemy (1944/1968) describes the same structural sequence in psychological terms: prima materia broken down, held within the vas hermeticum, gradually reorganized through the operations of solve et coagula—dissolve and coagulate—until a new, stabilized form emerges. What the alchemical texts described in mystical language is, in photographic practice, a technical procedure enacted with the hands in darkness.

This is not offered as a claim that photography uniquely enacts transformation theory. Every material practice has its own structural analogues—the painter's canvas holding the unresolved image through multiple states, the writer's draft maintaining provisional form through revision. The photographic example is offered as evidence of something more important: the theory does not arrive at practice from outside, imposing a framework upon experience. It emerges from within practice, named by the practitioner who has stood in the dark and watched the image arrive.

The Cyclical Nature of the Rupture Field

The rupture field does not function as a single linear progression that ends once integration occurs. The process is cyclical, and the cycle has no final resolution.

Each provisional meaning eventually becomes another inherited symbolic framework. What was once generative becomes stable, and stability—under new conditions of exposure—becomes brittle. When the next rupture arrives, the newly stable framework fractures, and the cycle initiates again. Human creativity therefore unfolds through repeated cycles of destabilization, metabolization, symbolic expression, and reintegration. Each cycle begins where the last one left its residue.

This is not a pessimistic account. It is an accurate one. Artists do not escape rupture. They learn how to work within it. The accumulated residue of prior cycles—the traces that did not fully resolve, the provisional meanings that held for a time before fracturing—becomes part of the practitioner's material. The work made over a lifetime is not a series of disconnected responses to rupture; it is the accumulated archive of cycles, each one carrying the imprint of those that preceded it.

This cyclical structure also applies to the theory itself. Rupture Field Theory is a provisional meaning generated from the author's own rupture encounters, built upon inherited symbolic frameworks—Becker, Rank, Winnicott, Bion—that will, under new conditions of exposure, fracture and require reworking. This is not a weakness to be corrected. It is the condition of any honest theoretical work.

Functions of Rupture Field Theory

Rupture Field Theory operates across three registers.

Descriptive

The theory describes the psychological arc that practitioners often experience when confronting destabilizing material: mortality awareness, trauma, historical rupture, worldview collapse. It names phases and transitions that are frequently recognized by artists but rarely articulated in frameworks that also take them seriously as intellectual and ethical positions.

Analytical

The framework provides a lens for examining artworks, creative practices, and cultural production as responses to rupture. Artistic forms can be understood as stabilized traces of previously metabolized disruption. This analytical function is not reducible to pathography—the reading of art as symptom of the artist's psychological history. It is a way of understanding what art is for: the construction of symbolic form capable of holding what ordinary experience cannot contain.

Practical

The theory offers practitioners a conceptual map for remaining within existential exposure long enough for meaningful transformation to occur. This includes naming the threshold conditions that make passage possible, identifying the phases through which the practitioner moves, and legitimizing the period of trace—the liminal state of becoming-form that institutional and market pressures frequently rush past.

It also offers practitioners a way to understand breakdown: not as failure of creativity or psychological weakness, but as a structural outcome when threshold conditions are absent or when rupture exceeds the available container's capacity.

Limitations and Scope

Any theoretical framework that does not articulate its own limitations is a framework that cannot be trusted. The following limitations are constitutive features of RFT's current state, not incidental weaknesses pending correction.

Framework, Not Mechanism

RFT is a conceptual framework. It describes a recognizable sequence without fully explaining the causal mechanisms through which metabolization occurs at the neurological, somatic, or psychological level. The threshold conditions proposed here are theoretically derived, not empirically tested. Future practice-based research, qualitative inquiry, and longitudinal study of creative practitioners would be required to test, refine, or contest these conditions.

The Artist/Non-Artist Distinction

The distinction between artists and non-artists within this framework is a distinction of tendency and practice, not ontology. Artists are not a separate category of human being equipped with special transformative capacity. They are practitioners who have, through training, discipline, and habit, developed specific containers for destabilizing experience. The distinction is therefore a gradient that shifts with practice, support, and circumstance—not a fixed category. This must be stated plainly to avoid the theory becoming a mythology of the artist as exceptional.

Survivorship Bias

We see the artists who transformed rupture into work. We do not see—because they are invisible to historical record and to our categories of artistic achievement—the artists who broke, who produced nothing, whose rupture generated not form but silence, illness, or withdrawal. Any theory of artistic transformation that does not account for the dark data overstates its case. RFT acknowledges this silence. The theory describes a possible pathway, not a guaranteed one.

Social and Material Conditions

The threshold section identifies economic and material conditions as enabling factors, but this analysis remains undertheorized relative to the psychological phases. A fuller treatment of the political economy of creative holding—the structural conditions that determine who can access the time, space, and safety that transformation requires—is needed and is acknowledged as beyond the scope of this draft. The universalization of transformation narratives without attention to their social conditions reproduces the omissions of the traditions from which they draw.

The Provisionality of the Model Itself

Rupture Field Theory is a provisional meaning generated from the author's rupture encounters, constructed upon an inherited symbolic framework that will fracture under new conditions of exposure. The model is subject to its own logic. This is not a disclaimer. It is an epistemological position: the theory does not stand outside the process it describes. It is an instance of it.

The central problem this theory addresses is not how to make death bearable. It is what becomes possible—creatively, psychologically, and ethically—when practitioners stop attempting to make it bearable and begin instead to make something from it.

Rupture Field Theory does not offer resolution. It offers a map of the terrain that opens when resolution is refused.

  

References

Becker, E. (1973). The denial of death. Free Press.

Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from experience. Heinemann.

Derrida, J. (1978). Writing and difference (A. Bass, Trans.). University of Chicago Press. (Original work published 1967)

Eisner, E. W. (1991). The enlightened eye: Qualitative inquiry and the enhancement of educational practice. Macmillan.

Greenberg, J., Pyszczynski, T., & Solomon, S. (1986). The causes and consequences of a need for self-esteem: A terror management theory. In R. Baumeister (Ed.), Public self and private self (pp. 189–212). Springer.

Heidegger, M. (1962). Being and time (J. Macquarrie & E. Robinson, Trans.). Harper & Row. (Original work published 1927)

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery. Basic Books.

Jung, C. G. (1968). Psychology and alchemy (R. F. C. Hull, Trans., 2nd ed.). Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1944)

Langer, S. K. (1942). Philosophy in a new key: A study in the symbolism of reason, rite, and art. Harvard University Press.

Levinas, E. (1969). Totality and infinity (A. Lingis, Trans.). Duquesne University Press.

Rank, O. (1932). Art and artist: Creative urge and personality development. Knopf.

Solomon, S., Greenberg, J., & Pyszczynski, T. (2015). The worm at the core: On the role of death in life. Random House.

Sullivan, G. (2005). Art practice as research: Inquiry in the visual arts. Sage.

Sumalla, E. C., Ochoa, C., & Blanco, I. (2009). Posttraumatic growth in cancer: Reality or illusion? Clinical Psychology Review, 29(1), 24–33.

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (1996). The posttraumatic growth inventory: Measuring the positive legacy of trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9(3), 455–471.

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1–18.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Winnicott, D. W. (1965). The maturational processes and the facilitating environment. Hogarth Press.

In Rupture Field Theory, PhD Tags Rupture Field Theory, PhD
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The Creative Mind & Mortality Podcast

Quinn Jacobson February 27, 2026

I’ve decided to begin releasing a series of podcasts alongside my published books as a way of widening the conversation. The written work will always be the spine of what I do, but I’m increasingly aware that many people who are deeply curious about these ideas simply aren’t engaging through books anymore. Rather than resist that shift, I’m choosing to work with it.

The podcast format allows me to think out loud in real time. It creates space for nuance, hesitation, and intellectual risk in a way that feels different from the fixed architecture of a printed page. These episodes draw directly from my doctoral research in Visionary Practice and Regenerative Leadership, where I’m examining how mortality awareness shapes culture, creativity, and ethical consciousness. My work, grounded in Ernest Becker, Otto Rank, and Terror Management Theory, asks a difficult but necessary question: what happens when we stop denying death and begin metabolizing it?

This series is an extension of that inquiry. It sits at the intersection of art, psychology, and existential philosophy. It’s also practical in a quiet way. If culture functions as a defense against mortality anxiety, then creativity may be one of the few ways we can face that anxiety without collapsing into illusion or violence.

I’m not abandoning the book. I’m expanding the conversation around it.

If you’ve been following my work through Glass Bones, Rupture, or In the Shadow of Sun Mountain, this podcast offers another doorway in. If you’re new, it may be an easier entry point into ideas that are often intellectually dense but psychologically urgent.

However you engage, the aim remains the same: to look directly at what we usually avoid—and to see what kind of art, meaning, and responsibility might emerge from that honesty.

You can listen to episode 1 by clicking here, or on the image above.

In Creative Mind and Mortal, Podcast Tags The Creative Mind and Mortality: Artists and Anxiety
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“Self-Portrait,” 4” x 5” Pinhole—Direct positive black and white (in camera) 5-minute exposure. Las Cruces, New Mexico, 2025

The 12 Steps of Rupturelogy

Quinn Jacobson February 17, 2026

Artists metabolize existential pressure while others defend against it. Existential pressure is the psychological force generated when awareness of mortality, impermanence, and the constructed nature of meaning exceeds the capacity of denial to contain it.

Rupture as Lived Experience: A Phenomenological Inquiry into Creative Meaning-Making.

This is a brain dump of ideas I’m playing with as I develop this idea around my creative experience. In a nutshell, questions and comments about what happens and why.

1. RUPTURE

What it is:
Something breaks when a belief, identity, relationship, certainty, or sense of meaning no longer holds.

What it feels like:
The experience can be characterized by shock, disorientation, grief, or a sudden thinning of reality.

Example:
A death. A creative block remains unresolved. Boredom. Frustration. Realizing the story you’ve lived by no longer fits your life.

2. EXPOSURE

What it is:
The protective stories fall away. You see something you were previously shielded from.

What it feels like:
Rawness. Vulnerability. The sense of being “too open.”

Example:
Sorting through a box of family photographs after a death, you realize the images aren’t preserving anyone. They’re evidence that preservation fails. The camera didn’t stop time. It only recorded its passing.

3. ANXIETY

What it is:
The nervous system responds to exposure. This is not pathology; it’s the body registering uncertainty.

What it feels like:
It manifests as restlessness, dread, agitation, and an urgency to either fix or escape.

Example:
You may find yourself wanting to distract yourself, overthink the work, or abandon it entirely.

4. THRESHOLD

What it is:
It represents a critical juncture where one must choose between avoidance and staying.

What it feels like:
Tension. There is a feeling that a significant event could occur or potentially fail.

Example:
You enter the studio anyway. You sit with the materials instead of turning away.

5. HOLDING

What it is:
It involves staying present and not rushing to resolve the discomfort.

What it feels like:
Uncomfortable steadiness. It's not a state of calmness, nor is it one of flight.

Example:
The individual persists in their work despite the lack of progress.

6. METABOLIZATION

What it is:
The rupture begins to be processed through action, material, repetition, and attention.

What it feels like:
Engagement replaces paralysis.

Example:
You remake the image again and again, not because the first one failed, but because the act of remaking stabilizes something internally. Repetition becomes containment.

7. RESIDUE

What it is:
The residue is what remains after exposure has passed through the body and into matter.

What it feels like:
Traces rather than answers.

Example:
Examples include stains, cracks, discarded drafts, broken plates, and half-formed ideas.

8. TRACE

What it is:
The first visible sign that something is taking shape.

What it feels like:
Recognition without clarity.

Example:
An image emerging in the developer. Suddenly, a phrase resonates with truth.

9. FORM

What it is:
The work coheres enough to stand on its own.

What it feels like:
Provisional stability.

Example:
A finished plate, painting, or piece that carries more than you consciously intended.

10. WITNESSING

What it is:
You step back and encounter what you’ve made as something separate from you.

What it feels like:
Surprise. Sometimes discomfort. Sometimes relief.

Example:
Seeing the work and realizing it knows something you didn’t know how to say.

11. PROVISIONAL MEANING

What it is:
Meaning emerges—not as certainty, but as something livable.

What it feels like:
Enough ground to stand on, for now.

Example:
Understanding that the work isn’t about solving death but learning how to stay in relationship with it.

12. RETURN (TO RUPTURE)

What it is:
Meaning never seals the system. Life introduces the next rupture.

What it feels like:
Familiarity with instability.

Example:
The next plate breaks. The next loss arrives. The cycle begins again.


Ruptureology describes how meaning is not found by avoiding breakdown but by staying with it long enough for form to emerge.

These questions are not meant to test a theory, measure outcomes, or confirm a model. They are descriptive prompts designed to invite artists to speak from experience, in their own language, about what actually happens for them in moments of rupture and creative work. The sequence reflects a pattern I have observed in my own practice over decades, not a set of steps anyone should follow. Artists may recognize parts of it, skip others entirely, or describe the same experiences in different terms. The value here is not alignment, but articulation. This is an inquiry into how creative work is lived from the inside, especially when meaning breaks down, rather than a framework imposed from the outside.

Ruptureology

Open-ended prompts for conversation, not data collection

1. Rupture

  • Can you recall a moment when something in your life or work stopped making sense in the way it used to?

  • What tends to bring you into the studio during those times?

2. Exposure

  • When that kind of disruption happens, do you feel more open, raw, or sensitive than usual?

  • How does that show up for you when you’re working?

3. Anxiety

  • What happens in your body or mind when things feel uncertain or unresolved in the work?

  • Do you notice urges to fix, avoid, distract, or control at that stage?

4. Threshold

  • Is there a moment when you’re deciding whether to stay with the work or step away from it?

  • What helps you cross that threshold, if you do?

5. Holding

  • How do you stay with the work when it’s uncomfortable or unclear?

  • What does “not knowing” feel like for you in the studio?

6. Metabolization

  • At what point does working with materials start to feel like it’s doing something for you, even if you can’t name what that is yet?

  • Are there repetitive actions or rituals that seem important here?

7. Residue

  • After working through something difficult, what tends to be left behind?

  • Do unfinished pieces, discarded materials, or failed attempts matter to you?

8. Trace

  • Can you describe the moment when you first sense that something is beginning to emerge?

  • How subtle or tentative is that moment, usually?

9. Form

  • When a piece starts to take shape, how does that change your relationship to what you were working through?

  • Does the work ever surprise you?

10. Witnessing

  • What is it like to encounter the finished (or nearly finished) work as something separate from you?

  • Do you recognize yourself in it, or does it feel like it knows something you didn’t?

11. Provisional Meaning

  • Does the work ever give you a sense of meaning or orientation, even temporarily?

  • How stable or unstable does that meaning feel?

12. Return

  • After a piece is finished, what tends to happen next for you?

  • Do similar disruptions return in new forms?

Closing

  • If you had to describe what the studio does for you when life or meaning feels unstable, how would you put that in your own words?

In Ruptureology, Pinhole Portraits Tags Rupturelogy, Direct positive Pinhole
2 Comments

This is a 36” x 48” canvas, a current "action painting" experiment I'm working on. I work on it every day; layer by layer I’m building the paint. The canvas is heavy with paint—thick and tangible. It’s almost like a sculpture even at this point. I’ll make another post of it when I finish it in a couple of weeks.

What Remains: On Meaning, Mortality, and Making in the Age of Artificial Intelligence

Quinn Jacobson February 7, 2026

I've been thinking about what happens to meaning when we can no longer justify our work by its output.

For the past several years, I've been researching the relationship between creativity and mortality, how artists use their practice to metabolize the knowledge of death. The work draws heavily on Ernest Becker's The Denial of Death and Terror Management Theory, which argue that much of human culture functions as a defense against existential terror. We build, we make, and we leave marks, not just to create beauty or communicate ideas, but to convince ourselves we matter in the face of annihilation.

But what happens when artificial intelligence can produce those marks faster, better, and without the mortal stakes that gave them weight?

As a doctoral student, I am currently preparing to write a dissertation that has taken years to research and work through. If I'm honest, I'm also someone who's started asking, "Why am I doing this when AI could knock out a more comprehensive version in an hour?” Or, “Why spend months in the studio wrestling with fragile nineteenth-century photographic chemistry when an algorithm can generate a comparable image in seconds?” Why make anything at all when machines can produce better books, paintings, and theories without effort, without mortality, and without stakes? This is the edge I'm working from now.

This isn't about Luddism or nostalgia. It's an existential question. If the things we make no longer function as proof of our significance, what's left?

The traditional answer from Terror Management Theory is that creativity serves as a form of symbolic immortality. We make things that outlast us. We contribute to a field, leave a body of work, and inscribe ourselves in culture. But AI destabilizes that entire framework. If machines can produce superior contributions without bodies, without death, without the mortal urgency that supposedly drives human creativity—then what was our work ever really for?

I think the answer is hiding in the materials.

I work with wet plate collodion, a photographic process from the 1850s that involves pouring light-sensitive chemistry onto glass, exposing it while still wet, and developing it immediately. It's slow, unpredictable, and failure-prone. Plates crack and break, and collodion lifts and peels. Silver fogs. Images are damaged. I also paint, and I've started treating my studio as a research site. The material disruptions are not a hindrance but rather an integral part of the process. The cracked plates, the unruly paint, and the collapsing sculptures are not mistakes. They're data. They're evidence of what it means to make something while subject to physics, time, and entropy.

AI doesn't experience this. It can generate images, text, and even simulations of failure. But it doesn't confront materiality the way a mortal body does. It doesn't feel the anxiety of a plate that might not develop, the exhaustion of revising a chapter for the eighth time, or the vertigo of realizing your entire theoretical framework is wrong and you have to start over. It doesn't live with the knowledge that the work will end because you will end.

I'm starting to think the meaning was never in the output alone. It was in the mortal struggle with the medium. The labor of a finite being attempting to say something true before time runs out. The refusal to look away from fragility: ours, the world's, the image's, and the decision to create anyway.

This doesn't resolve the problem. If anything, it makes it sharper. Because if meaning lies in embodied, mortal labor, and if AI can produce everything that labor once produced without the body or the mortality, then we're facing something far more unsettling than obsolescence. We're facing the possibility that human meaning-making itself becomes optional. A kind of performance. A choice to keep doing something the hard way when the easy way is infinitely more efficient.

Maybe that's where we are. Maybe the question isn't whether AI will replace human creativity, but whether we can bear to keep making things when there's no instrumental reason left to do it. When the only justification is the confrontation itself, the fact that we are mortal creatures insisting on witness, on presence, on the stubborn act of leaving a mark even when we know it won't matter in any measurable way.

I don't have an answer. But I keep coating plates. I keep writing. I keep working with materials that crack and fail and resist me, because the meaning isn't in whether the work is better than what a machine could produce. The meaning is in the fact that I did it. That I was here. That I chose to create not as a defense against death, but as a way of staying honest about it.

If AI can make everything, then maybe what remains for us is the one thing it can't do: be mortal, be afraid, and make something anyway.

“The Outline and the Drift,” half-plate Collodio-Chloride print on glass from a wet collodion negative. This is pre-fix - what a beautiful color.

In On Meaning, Mortality, Artificial Intelligence, Collodio-Chloride Glass Tags Artificial Intelligence, On Meaning, Mortality, and Making, Action Painting, collodio-chloride on glass
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“The Outline and the Drift,” half-plate tintype.
February 5, 2026 Las Cruces, New Mexico

The Outline and the Drift

Quinn Jacobson February 5, 2026

I made this image today using a dead bird mounted on black-painted cardboard, then worked around the body rather than on it. The decision felt important. I didn’t want to manipulate the bird into meaning or turn it into a symbol that behaved too neatly. I wanted to acknowledge the body as it was and let my response happen in the space around it. The marks I painted loosely reference feathers, but only in the most unstable sense. They’re not meant to describe anatomy. They’re an attempt to register something leaving the body at death, not as transcendence or ascent, but as dispersal. Whatever animates a living being doesn’t depart cleanly. It destabilizes. It lingers as a trace.

I was also intentionally playing with the visual language of a chalk outline, the kind left at a crime scene. That gesture carries a particular cultural weight. A chalk outline is an attempt to fix an event in place, to impose order after something irreversible has already occurred. It marks where a body was, not where it went. In this image, that outline sits in tension with the radiating marks around it. One gesture tries to contain the loss, to hold it still. The other admits that containment has already failed. Together, they stage a familiar human dilemma: the impulse to document death versus the fact that death resists explanation.

The contrast between the bird’s spanning wings and the surrounding painted “feathers” matters to me. The body is heavy, finished, and unequivocally still. The marks around it are directional but unresolved, interrupted, and uneven. They don’t form a halo. They don’t promise meaning. They reflect the lag that often follows death, the moment when the body has stopped but our perception hasn’t caught up yet. Meaning keeps moving even when life has ended. The image lives in that gap.

I’m not making a claim here about what death is or what leaves the body when it happens. I’m more interested in the human need to respond once stillness becomes unbearable. The marks don’t prove that energy exists. They mark the moment when we can no longer tolerate absence without gesture. For me, that’s where the work begins: not in explanation or consolation, but in staying with what remains unresolved and allowing the image to hold that tension without trying to seal it shut.

In Art & Theory, Arts-Based Research, Death, Experimental Collodion, Existentialism, Tintype, Wet Plate Collodion, PhD Tags PhD, Arts-Based Research, Tintype
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Ruptureology

Quinn Jacobson February 4, 2026

“Some day soon, perhaps in forty years, there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That’s when I will be truly dead – when I exist in no one’s memory. I thought a lot about how someone very old is the last living individual to have known some person or cluster of people. When that person dies, the whole cluster dies, too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?”
Irvin D. Yalom, Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy

In Ruptureology Tags rupture, Rupturegenesis, Ruptureology
2 Comments

“Glasshead-Stoneman,” collodio-chloride printed on glass and backed with gold pigment,
Half-plate. January 30, 2026 Las Cruces, New Mexico for the book, Glass Bones (ABR)

Glass and Gold - Glass Prints

Quinn Jacobson January 31, 2026

This piece grew out of a technical curiosity, but it didn’t stay there for long.

I’ve been experimenting with collodio-chloride on glass, using a wet collodion half-plate negative as the source image. What interested me initially was the reversal: taking a process already defined by fragility and asking it to exist as an object rather than an image alone. Printing onto glass changes the relationship immediately. The photograph no longer sits on a surface; it hovers within one. It becomes something you look into rather than at. I’ve printed on glass before—carbon, oil, and collodio-chloride. This gold addition was new.

That shift matters to me. My work is often in the unstable space between presence and absence, between what can be held and what can't. Collodio-chloride amplifies that tension. The image is there, but it never fully settles. It feels provisional, as if it could just as easily slip away.

Exposed, pre-fix.

After the print was finished, I backed the glass with gold. That decision wasn’t decorative. Gold carries a long cultural history of sanctification, permanence, value, and transcendence. Gold is what we use to signify that something matters and endures. In this context, it felt closer to a defense mechanism. A thin layer of assurance applied to something fundamentally unstable. The gold doesn’t resolve the fragility of the glass or the image; it frames it and maybe even tries to protect it. That tension is the point.

I’m aware that backing photographic images with gold carries the history of the orotone, a process designed to heighten luminosity and permanence. I’m interested in that lineage, but not in reviving it. Here, the gold isn’t about brilliance or finish. It functions more like a psychological gesture, an attempt to stabilize what can’t be stabilized, to sanctify something that is already slipping.

The skull forms in the background weren’t meant to announce themselves. They emerge slowly, almost reluctantly. That’s how mortality functions most of the time. It isn’t usually dramatic or explicit. It sits behind us, watching, shaping our behavior without demanding our attention. I wanted that presence to feel ambient rather than symbolic, something you notice only after spending time with the image.

The central figure feels assembled rather than organic. Stacked. Held together. I think of it less as a subject and more as a structure, a self-constructed one under pressure. The translucence of the collodio-chloride allows it to exist somewhere between solidity and dissolution, which mirrors the psychological space I’m often working in. Identity here isn’t fixed. It’s maintained.

From an arts-based research perspective, this piece feels important because the process itself is doing the thinking. I’m not illustrating theory after the fact. The materials are pushing back. Glass breaks. Chemistry misbehaves. The image resists control. Those risks aren’t incidental; they’re where the knowledge lives. The work knows something because it could fail.

What consistently resonates with me is the delicate boundary between reverence and denial. The gold can read as a halo or a shield. I’m interested in that ambiguity. It reflects the way we often try to stabilize what we know is unstable—through meaning, through ritual, through objects that promise endurance.

This piece doesn’t try to solve anything. It holds a condition. It sits with fragility rather than sealing it over. That feels honest to me.

Much more exploring ahead! I might break these and see what that produces. And I’m in the process of getting some front-surface mirror material to experiment with; I mention the technique in my book to make “faux” daguerreotypes. I’m going to use collodio-chloride to see what happens.

In Collodio-Chloride Glass, Glass Bones Tags collodio-chloride on glass, Glass Bones
6 Comments

A Film You Should Watch

Quinn Jacobson January 28, 2026

What I appreciate most about Flight from Death is that it doesn’t reduce death anxiety to pathology. It shows how mortality awareness fuels everything from cruelty to creativity. For artists especially, this film lands hard. It raises the uncomfortable question of whether making is a way of hiding from death—or a way of facing it honestly.

If you’re interested in why art matters at all, start here.

Watch it slowly. Let it bother you a little. That’s kind of the point.

It’s on my Vimeo page: Flight From Death

In Flight From Death Film Tags Flight from Death: The Quest for Immortality
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Mockup covers of my new books.

My New Books for 2026

Quinn Jacobson January 27, 2026

Have you ever had an epiphany? An epiphany is a sudden, profound realization or insightful moment where the true meaning or essence of something becomes clear, often from a simple occurrence, stemming from the Greek word for "manifestation" or "appearance.”

I’ve had several over the past few weeks.

I wanted to share how I’m going to unfold these publications this year. I will use some of the 800-900 pages of text in these books for my 2028 thesis/dissertation—these writings will drive my dissertation.

“I’m building a psychology of artistic practice that takes mortality seriously as a formative force. And my three books, Glass Bones, Rupture, and In the Shadow of Sun Mountain, act as a trilogy: Theory → Practice → Witness regarding the theories and creativity.”
— Quinn Jacobson

This is how I see it transpiring:

June 2026: Glass Bones is published.

September 2026: Rupture is published.

November 2026: In the Shadow of Sun Mountain is published.

Allow me to explicate: I'm building a psychology of artistic practice that takes mortality seriously as a formative force—not as metaphor, but as the pressure that shapes how artists see, make, and live. My trilogy examines this from three angles: Glass Bones provides the theoretical framework, drawing on Becker, Rank, and Terror Management Theory to understand death anxiety and cultural defense. Rupture translates theory into practice, exploring the disciplines and orientations that allow artists to transform existential pressure into creative form. In the Shadow of Sun Mountain offers lived witness—thirty years of working with nineteenth-century processes, paint, clay, broken materials, plants, people, and the mountain landscapes as sites where mortality and imagination meet. Together, they map the terrain where awareness becomes art: Theory → Practice → Witness.

This research is situated within liminal space: psychological, material, and cultural thresholds produced by mortality awareness. Rather than resolving death anxiety through symbolic closure, the work asks what becomes possible when creative practice holds the threshold open long enough for transformation to occur.

Mortality awareness places me in a permanently liminal condition. I am alive, but never free of the knowledge that I will not remain so. From a Beckerian perspective, this is not incidental; it is the core destabilizing fact of consciousness. I am an animal capable of symbol-making who cannot fully believe in my own symbols, a being suspended between embodiment and abstraction, presence and disappearance.

I do not experience this condition as episodic or developmental, something to be outgrown or resolved. It is structural. Consciousness itself unfolds at the threshold. What culture often treats as pathology or anxiety to be managed, I understand as the ground from which meaning-making arises. Creative practice, in this sense, is not an escape from liminality but a way of inhabiting it with attention and responsibility, giving form to what cannot be stabilized without distortion.

I will be making new work—photographs, paintings, and mixed media for Glass Bones and Rupture. My work from the mountain will be featured in Sun Mountain.

I think you can wrap your head around that one, right? Just writing this out alleviates some of the “it’s in me, and it has to come out” stuff. To quote John Lee Hooker from Boogie Chillin’ (1948), a natural, internal force that must be expressed. 

In New Books 2026 Tags new books, PhD, Ruptureology, rupture, In the Shadow of Sun Mountain, Glass Bones
4 Comments

The Dimmer Switch Explained

Quinn Jacobson January 26, 2026
In Dimmer Switch, Pigment Printing, Anxiety, Consciousness, Death and Dying, Death Anxiety, Denial of Death, Ernest Becker Tags Dimmer Switch
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