The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

Quinn marking his ballot for Barack Obama and Joe Biden - 2008

There is no doubt that what my German friend just documented for me (photographing me marking my ballot) is probably the most important ballot I'll ever cast in my life. I'm not simply regurgitating the media's mantra either. This election is very important. I hope and pray with all of my soul and being that on November 4, 2008, Americans will make the right choice for president.

I have nothing against John McCain (that I can put here anyway) and I'd never heard of Sarah Palin until 8 weeks ago. I'd be the first to thank McCain for his service and moreover, his sacrifice. As a veteran myself (Army 11B and 84B), I appreciate and thank the people who serve, or have served, our country. And those that serve during conflict, even more so.

I know his intentions might be good, but he's not the right choice for the White House, especially not now. It's not due to his age, either. However, it's more probable that he (McCain) would die in office far sooner than Obama, at least from natural causes. And that scenario would leave us with a "bad Disney movie" and makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit to think about it.  The argument is a non-issue; the question is who would be better for the majority of Americans/America. It's very clear to me that Barack Obama has a heart and a mind for the people of America. He can help make things better and get us back on track to being a decent, peace-loving people who are prosperous but not arrogant. I truly believe that.

I currently live in Germany so I get to vote a little bit earlier than most Americans. It’s at these times when I experience the truth in the saying, "The pen is mightier than the sword". I’m hoping that this image is proof of that.

Jesus Was A Jew

My goal in 2009 is to really concentrate on getting my project completed. By the winter of 2009, I want to be editing images for a book. That's my goal. In order to do that, I'm going to cut back on workshops (maybe do two next year) and get my technical writing and DVD material completed this year (in the next couple of months).

It was a good day today. Sunday and Germany equals no one bothering you about "what you're doing". Any other day, or any other time, I would have never been able make this image.

I find this image both ironic and symbolic. Ironic in the sense that Jesus was a Jew. Symbolic in the sense that Jesus was a Jew (and that He represents salvation and love). I find it kind of kitschy too - that's why I made it on a piece of plastic (black acrylic, I call it an "Acrylotype"). I made the image with an old Derogy lens. It's not big enough to cover the plate (8"x10") edge to edge, so it gives it that vignette. Vignettes make me feel like I'm looking through a keyhole or seeing something I'm not supposed to be seeing. I like the effect it gives of saying (visually), "LOOK HERE".  Images of Jesus on the cross always remind me of Serrano's work too. He made an image called, "Piss Christ" that everyone took out of context and misunderstood. I'll never forget it.

You'll see these kinds of statues in a lot of the Catholic states/counties in Germany. You'll also see a lot of crosses. And every village has a Catholic church in its center with its steeple stretching toward heaven.

Jesus Was A Jew

Living An "Authentic Life"?

What does it mean to live an "authentic life"? What does "authentic" even mean? For me, it's a word that describes, or defines, your ability to be you. Whatever or whoever you are. In other words, not counterfeit or copied. It sounds easy, right? It isn't.

Quinn stylin' a Chin Curtain. Henry David Thoreau said, "All men live quiet lives of desperation." I don't think that's as bleak as it sounds. Desperation, in this case, could be defined as not being authentic. Most people, especially Americans, tend to follow trends and other people. Their lives are copies of what is popular or accepted. A lot of television and the mass media teaches them who to be. In other words, their identity is closely connected to what is popular in thought, fashion, lifestyle, etc. at any given time. They tend to be "spectators" rather than "players" in the game of life.

Why do people live like this? I believe it's for acceptance. We all want to be accepted. I wrote in my graduate thesis that we are in a dilemma (as human beings). We want to be accepted and fit in, but we want to be individuals/unique at the same time. That's impossible to do. You're either in touch with who you are, however you are, or you're a knock-off of your culture's latest style, thought, craze, or trend. You can't have it both ways.

There are times I ask myself, "Are you really, truly being honest with yourself about who you are?" I've felt tremendous pressure to lose weight, cut my hair, shave my face, dress a certain way and to be easy on ignorant people (I can be loud and opinionated) so that I can fit in and please people. I'm told quite often, most of the time in very subtle ways, that I'm not acceptable the way I am - that I need to change my appearance and my philosophy toward people and life.

I'm sure people think they're doing me a favor by telling me that I don't fit in. It begs the question about authenticity. What if I'm truly supposed to be the way I am? What if the way I look, dress and think is authentic? What if the masses are wrong about me?

Why do so many people feel the need to tell people who are different to change? Isn't this what's caused wars and has been at the heart of most of the evil in the world? I can't help but think about where I live and how it applies to these ideas of difference and authenticity. Difference, for the most part, is not accepted here.

Just because you might not look or think like the masses, or the popular majority, doesn't mean that you're wrong or need to be changed. If we could all start living authentic lives, maybe we could find peace and acceptance with ourselves and with others.

Art Is The Enemy Of The Routine

"Adoph Hitler Strasse" - Viernheim, Germany In my (ongoing and lifelong) pursuit of defining the meaning and  purpose of art, I've come across a lot of insightful and powerful quotes. Simon Schama said something so simple and brilliant that I felt compelled to share it with you here. He said, ""Art is the enemy of the routine, the mechanical and the hum drum. It stops us in our tracks with a high voltage jolt of disturbance; it reminds us of what humanity can do beyond the daily grind. It takes us places we had never dreamed of going; it makes us look again at what we had taken for granted."

Of course, this isn't definitive (in defining art), but for me, it defines an aspect of what good art can do and some of the purpose involved in making art.

There is something to be said for being "present" in your daily life. Present to the good and to the not so good. I believe artists are highly perceptive and extremely "present" in their daily lives (sometimes too present as they go mad or sink into depression). The subtle, unnoticed details are what tell the story. Artists are very good at picking up on those and sharing their opinions or views about them. If you think about all of the mundane and superficial information we are subjected to on a daily basis, few things are really valuable. Artists have an important voice in the world, I wish more people listened.

It's Time To Make A Change

Regardless of how you feel about politics, the world is in a very serious situation and it does matter who’s leading America over the next few years.

I will never understand someone voting for John McCain and Sarah Palin. My mind can't even begin to justify or reconcile that kind of decision. And no, I'm not voting for Barack Obama because McCain and Palin are evil (because I think they are human beings but just not the ones for the White House), but because he's the person that has the vision, intelligence, leadership and ability to really make a difference. I truly believe he is a decent human being that cares about more than just himself and his wealth, I really do.

I'm not a fool. I know things will not get better overnight if Barack Obama is elected. However, I know that if he is, we have some chance of bringing sanity back to America. I'm voting for Barack Obama and Joe Biden because I love America and I owe my country the very best I can give it when it comes to leadership. McCain and Palin do not show, in any way shape or form, the leadership we need right now in America and in the world.

It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I know this. The economy has depths to plummet that we haven't seen yet. The ridiculous, overspending, irresponsible lifestyle is over in America. I thank God for it. If this is what it takes, so be it. Keep your chin up, with Obama, we have a chance to not only recover, but be a better America after we heal. Do yourself, and all Americans, a favor and vote for Barack Obama. Don't blow it this time America!

The Netherlands Workshop

I just returned from The Netherlands (some call it Holland). I did a two day workshop there at the Pieter Brueghel Art and Culture School. Jeroen de Wijs set it up and made it happen (thanks Jeroen!). He was a great host and the people at the school were wonderful too.

There were six attendees/students and we got to spend all day Saturday making 4x5 black glass Ambrotypes and Alumitypes. I don't do these workshops for money, and even if it were profitable, there's a far more important and rewarding motive to do these. To see people eager to learn a new way to express themselves and then for them to get their hands on the material and make something within a few hours of learning about it is amazing to me.

It doesn't matter if the images are perfect or the subject matter is interesting, the process and the interaction between people is the part that's most important to me now. I think I may be maturing in a new way - I feel less and less anxiety about the work and more and more desire to connect with the people. When was the last time you had the chance to be involved with a group of people sharing experiences, ideas, art, food, coffee and culture? I'm very blessed!

Thank you Summer and Jean for helping make these things possible. Summer assisted me Saturday and shot most of these images.

The Dutch Collodionista Group - 8"x10" Black Glass Ambrotype - Veghel, The Netherlands 
"Francie" - a demonstration portrait.
Quinn talks about "salted Collodion" - the introduction to chemistry.
Quinn lectures on the fundamentals of the Wet Plate Collodion process.
Let's talk about lenses - Petzvals, Rapid Rectilinear, and everything in between. 
The students getting started - let the Collodion flow!
Geert-Jan pulls Jereon from the cyanide! 
Cor's self-portrait.

Quinn looking for help from above!

Francie's portrait of Quinn - the Thinker (and very approachable)

Coming through the veil -

Heating and varnishing plates.

One of the most interesting plates of the workshop - Geert-Jan waited a bit too long before droping this plate in the silver bath.
The Thinker gets a coat of varnish. 
All setup to open "the Show" Friday night.  
Having a coffee in the breakroom. 
Draining varnish from "The Thinker" -  
Some photographs from Rudd, a workshop student.
"Let's talk about this plate". 
Using God's light making portraits.
This was the view from our room. The hotel we stayed in was amazing! It was in a little village called, Boerdonk, The Netherlands. The owners were very friendly and had a wonderful little dog called Lennon, as in John Lennon.
The hotel was very nice!

Christians & Serious Art

My wife, Jeanne, sent this link to me from the McKenzie Study Center in Eugene, Oregon. It's an article by R. Wesley Hurd called, "Christians & Serious Art". I think it's a great article. There are a lot of layers to peel back here, however, for the most part it's a great article because I've never read/heard anyone approach this topic in such a real way.

Hurd does a good job of unpacking the idea that "serious art" is very different from commercial art or "consumption art". Moreover, he identifies intention and makes it very clear that artists working in this tradition have very different motives and ideas than someone who paints sunset pictures on the beach.

I was intrigued by the fact that he mentions how many Christians are skeptical of artists (Christian and non-Christian alike). Art seems to be kind of a bad word for most Christians. It conjures ideas about extremes, difficult topics, and things of the "world." Those are tough topics for a lot of Christians to deal with - they usually, as Hurd describes, avoid anything that is deep and complex when it comes to art and completely misunderstand the artist and the art. Again, I agree with Hurd, this needs to change.

As for Christian artists, I'm not sure I know of any making "serious art". I need to research this and see what's happening there.

One of my favorite parts of the article is this:

"Humans inevitably engage in two kinds of work: the work they do for utilitarian purposes and the work they do to determine who they are and what they mean. When our utilitarian work has secured the necessities of life—sustenance, shelter, and safety—we turn to leisurely activities and "liberal" arts. The leisure of liberal arts is not merely for relaxation or entertainment, though that kind of leisure is valid. Ultimately, the most important of man's leisurely activities involves time given to exploring the meaning of his existence—his deepest identity and purpose. These activities are meaningful or practical not in a utilitarian way, but because they embody the human quest for an enduring definition of life in the cosmos."

Photokina 2008 - Cologne, Germany

Minox Girl at Photokina 2008, Cologne, Germany
I have mixed emotions about Photokina 2008. On one hand, it's interesting and kind of fun, and on the other hand, it's disgusting and nauseating. 

Overall, it's an exercise in greed, consumption, overindulgence, etc. all of things people say that I'm (and most Americans) an expert in. Seriously, it was disturbing to be there as the economy (Wall Street) in America was tanking, not to mention the ongoing suffering and hunger throughout the world. It's just hard to reconcile all of it looking at $5,000 (USD) cameras and $10,000 (USD) printers. Mostly, it was middle-aged men drooling over phalic toys they couldn't afford. C'mon, nothing is that important! Maybe I'm just getting old and soft (I can validate the "soft", it's true).

My main bitch is that it was €21 Euros to get into the place (that's $32 U.S. dollars today). Are we paying to get into a place to see what we want to buy? We're paying people to advertise to us!! Wow!! Wrap your head around that one!

My praises: There were some pretty interesting advancements in technology. The printers were unbelievable. All of them cranking out huge (8' x 12') color digital prints (if it's big, it's important)! They called it the "fine art printing section." The underwater cameras were pretty cool too. Not that I would ever need any of this stuff, but you know, it was kind of fun to see.

Billy Cargile, my new co-worker went with me. We didn't really want too stay long. We just wanted to hit some of the highlights and head back south. It was a 3.5 hour drive back because of traffic jam (Stau) just outside of Cologne. It's always fun to wrap a day of consumption around a 4 hour traffic jam. Yummy!

I suppose it was a good excuse to get out of the studio take a long drive and bum around Cologne again (it's a great city). As a side note, Cologne (Köln) is a very progressive and art centered city. I've been to a couple of art shows in Köln that I really enjoyed. The people are great too.

Back to Photokina... am I going to Photokina 2010.. ? No - been there done that and got the Minox ad to prove it.

Billy Cargile at Photokina - September, 2008

Suffering From Jet Lag

This is my fourth day back in Germany after a 11 day trip to the United States. I am suffering big-time! I didn't sleep last night at all, well, maybe two hours at the most and it was very light. Today, I feel like I was hit by a truck. They call this jet-lag. To be blunt: I feel like shit.

When traveling across a number of time zones, the body clock will be out of sync with the destination time, as it experiences daylight and darkness contrary to the rhythms to which it has grown accustomed: the body's natural pattern is upset, as the rhythms that dictate times for eating, sleeping, hormone regulation and body temperature variations no longer correspond to the environment nor to each other in some cases. To the degree that the body cannot immediately realign these rhythms, it is jet lagged.

The speed at which the body adjusts to the new schedule is individually determined. Thus, while it may take several days for some people to readjust to a new time zone, others seem to experience little disruption to their body's natural patterns. It is, however, not common to get jet lag from a crossing of only one or two time zones.

The condition is not linked to the length of flight, but to the transmeridian (i.e., east-west) distance traveled. Hence, a ten-hour flight between Frankfurt and Johannesburg, staying roughly on the same meridian, does not cause jet lag, while a five-hour flight between New York and Los Angeles may. Also, the International Date Line should not be confused as contributing to jet lag, as the maximum possible disruption is plus or minus 12 hours. A 20 hour time difference, for example, equals 4 hours of jet lag. Layovers can complicate this simple arithmetic, however.

The symptoms of jet lag can be quite varied and may include the following:
Loss of appetite, nausea, digestive problems
Headache, sinus irritation
Fatigue, irregular sleep patterns
Disorientation, grogginess, irritability
Mild depression

Yes, this is what jet lag looks like - face it.

  And once again, the harsh reality of jet-lag. It's very real.

I know these are difficult to look at, but do you feel my pain now?? I pray to God that I can sleep tonight. I have to go back to work tomorrow.

My Mother: Nov. 8, 1929 - Sept. 1, 2008

Dear Mom,

I love you very much and I'll miss you a lot.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you left for Heaven, but I know you understand. I have sweet and precious memories with you, and of you. Jeanne and Summer send their love. God bless you and goodbye for now. I know I will see you again.

Mom in her casket - September 8, 2008 - Utah

Ida Juanita Gardner (Mom) 2005 Wet Plate Collodion Ambrotype. 

Mom, me and Dad - Mom's 39th birthday - 1968
  Mom and Dad - photo booth 1959