Summer Jacobson's Poetry

We are very proud of Summer. She's smart and beautiful. It always warms our hearts to see her perform (singing/guitar), or to listen to one of her poems. We like to hear her political and social thoughts, too. She's more in touch with the important things in life at 16 years-old than I was at 26 years-old.

She brought home the "Showcase" catalog yesterday. It features work from high school students all over Europe. This was just published in the last few weeks, but it was from work submitted last year (when she was a sophomore). They selected one of her poems for it. Can you guess who the poem is about?

We love you Summer! You make us very, very proud! And, yes, we rocked the vote this time!

Summer Jacobson's poem

Videos, Graphics and My Hopes for The New Year

The videos series has been in the making for about three year (since 2005). With help from Summer and Jeanne, I've made major progress on my Collodion Workshop videos. I appreciate the email I get (almost daily) regarding the video classes. It motivates me to get them done. It's a huge undertaking and I'm glad there are people interested in them.

Over the last few months, I’ve kind of reinvented myself. I designed a new(er) logo and launched a new web site. I believe everything is in flux, always changing, and that’s how I tend to live. I’m always in need of something new, it keeps me going. Having said, that, I’ve posted a couple of ideas for my new logos. I really like these. The circle has always got me going - representing infinity, eternity, etc. And the simple black and white “Q” rocks. It’s clean, it’s easy on the eye and is completely me. Actually, the text around the logo is what’s new. I like this because it reminds me of a stamp. It’s tidy and circular. I would love to have a metal (embossing) stamp made of this - like a notary stamp. It would be cool to emboss photographs - paper ones, not glass plates.

Also, this "collodion video venture" forced me into buying another domain. It's a long technical story about servers. It's about IIS versus Linux and ASP versus PHP. The membership software needed to live on a Linux box, my studioQ.com domain lives on a Windows box. I ended up buying studioQ.info - I like it, it's very appropriate for what it will be used for. It was Jeanne's idea to go with .info - thanks Sweetie! Great idea!

Well, I'm glad the consumption holiday is over. Now all we have to do is to get through the gluttony holiday. Here in Germany, they light fireworks, and I mean HUGE, NOISY ones. I can't stand it. They have some strange rituals at midnight on New Year's as well too. The first year we were here, it freaked us out.

I hope everyone has great plans for the new year. 2009 is going to be one of personal work and introspection for me. Of course we'll do some traveling too. Right now, we're planning to spend some time in  Brussels, Belgium the first week of February and The Netherlands the last week of February. In April, we'll be back in Vienna, Austria and possibly Budapest, Hungary.

New Year's resolutions? No, I don't have any New Year's resolutions. The only one I might have is to not make any resolutions. However, here's what I hope for the new year:

1. Live my life to the fullest and to be present as much as possible.

2. Don't be a participant or a bystander in the evil in the world.

3. Take chances and don't be afraid to fail.

4. Be grateful for everything.

5. Make a difference in other people's lives.

6. Put other people before myself (as much as possible). 

Those are my hopes for the new year. Why six? Because my number is six.

 

God, The Holocaust & Aerosol Cheese: Things That Are Difficult To Understand

Cheese in a can - cheddar flavor! Who are you, and who am I? Isn't that what we're trying to figure out? It's frustrating when things like money and ego get in the way of our understanding and joy. How is it that we seem so confused about what's important? Is it fear? Does fear keep us from love, peace, and joy in our lives?

It’s difficult to comprehend most things in life, especially the big things. Things like God, the Holocaust, and aerosol cheese (okay, aerosol cheese isn't big, but it's difficult to understand). It’s difficult, because most of us never give enough thought to anything to even start to understand it, let alone make any effort to research it or read other’s thoughts on it. We seem apathetic and lazy. We, mostly Americans, seem obsessed with the superficial and the innocuous, things that won’t mean anything in six months, or a year from now. I don’t believe that we don’t care or that we’re lazy, I think it’s because we’re afraid. We’re scared. We’re afraid to know. We’re afraid of getting old. We’re afraid of getting fat. We’re afraid of going grey. We’re afraid that we’re not smart enough, good looking enough, thin enough, rich enough, strong enough, desirable enough, healthy enough, funny enough, never enough, enough, etc. etc. We’re afraid. And we do crazy things to hide and disguise that fear so we never have to face it.

Think about the pressure we feel to live up to other people’s expectations. Like the pressure to buy a big, beautiful house that we can’t afford or a nice, new car that we don’t really need. Things that we put a lot of “ourselves” into, at the very least, things that we anchor some portion of identity to. Think about what that means – saying that a big house or a new car is “me”, or that they represent “me”, is repulsive when you think about it. However, the need to say, “Look, I’m good enough, see!” is overwhelming and powerful.

How about the power of having money, that’s a big one. It’s sad, you could say you scrubbed toilets for a living but got paid $250,000 a year for it and people would be asking, “How do you qualify for that kind of job?” and, “Where can I apply?”.

We seem overly eager and very willing to sell out and prostitute ourselves for money. We’ll work at a job we hate for 20 or 30 years and be miserable every day, but we never really give our passions or our dreams a chance. Why is that? Do we still believe what our parents told us growing up? “You should be a doctor or lawyer; those professions earn a lot of money!” They said that because they were close enough to the “Great Depression” that they still carry all of that angst and anxiety and aren’t afraid to share it with us. Just because they never followed their dreams, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow ours.

I’m tired of being afraid. It’s back in the air now, credit crisis, bad economy, etc. We moved from the fear of terrorists to the fear of having no job. I’m tired of it. I want peace and joy back into my life and I want to follow my passions and dreams.

Pursue your passion, not your pension!

Conscientious Objector

I've had enough. I'm sick of it. And I refuse to participate. I don't care what anyone thinks about me saying that either. Call me what you will for not participating in mass consumption, for any "holiday", but especially this one.

Drunk Santa! It's hard for me to see the value (i.e. showing love) in spending money that you don't have on gifts that people don't want. Or even worse, sending cards to people "because it's that time of year." I loathe that, I really do!

It's a scam to make super-consumers out of everyone. To rob us of our dignity and shame us with empty, meaningless stuff. We know better!

If people really cared for one another, we wouldn't be in (pick a mess, any mess) the mess we're in today. Period. And we want to indoctrinate our children with this? Come on! They're already facing a very uncertain future. Why do we want to burden them with this? And don't say it's fun and joyful, it's not, we all know that.

Where are the friendships, family love, and empathy in March or April or when people really need it? Where are the gifts given in conversation and in listening to one another about individual interests or ideas? Why can't we give those kinds of things throughout the year?

I would much rather have a meaningful conversation with someone than receive material "stuff" from them. I would prefer one minute of real conversation over a thousand hours of fake "weather conversation" and forced dinners with people I don't even really know. But we all do it, don't we? We know it's wrong and meaningless, but we do it anyway. Why? Why not be honest and real? What's so shameful or embarrassing about being who we are? I don't get it?

Think about all of the parents that don't really even know their (adult) children. Siblings that are clueless about one another (as in really knowing one another). I tried to communicate to my mother about who I am and what I believe is important in my life before she died. And I continue to talk to my father about it too. It's not easy.

Even here in Europe, the consumer craze in catching on. Germans love their Weinnacht Markts and hot Glühwein (puke). You can see the American influence to consume creeping in and taking over. How long will they last?

I was walking through Real the other day and saw a copy of Bild. It had some German guy on the front page talking about how Hitler was a nice guy. I bought it so I could read that article and saw this ad in it. The Santa drinking an Erdinger (which is good beer) reminded me of how I felt about this time of year. That's why I went on this rant.

Having said all of that, it doesn't mean that I don't love you and miss you, I do. That's why I said all of this, I want to show my love and appreciation in a different and new way. Do you want to join me?

A Week In Glasgow & Edinburgh, Scotland

The Jacobsons in Edinburgh! After spending a few days in Glasgow and Edinburgh, it makes me long to live a creative, free life. Not bound by conventional standards that include the "9 to 5 grind" and all of the meaningless motions that we go through everyday for money. It's not that Glasgow or Edinburgh brought this out in me, they just made me very present to the fact that there is life beyond the monotony most people live, day in and day out.

Glasgow is a beautiful city. It's our second time here. However, it was our first visit to Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland. There is a big difference between the two cities. Edinburgh draws a lot more tourists. Glasgow, not so much. While Edinburgh is worth a visit, we prefer Glasgow. We are not, and I repeat, not, fans of doing the "touristy" things. They are actually embarrassing to me. I know that sounds elitist, but that's how I feel. They are gross money traps that have very little or no cultural or human value. We avoid them like the plague. However, we found ourselves walking the "Royal Mile" yesterday, all the way to the castle. Every other store was full of plaid and kilts. Cheap, touristy plaid and kilts. It was gross. It reminded me people getting suckered into a "shell game" in a big city, only worse, they don't even have the illusion of winning anything, just dumping their quid.

The castle in Edinburgh Our visit was three-fold. First, we wanted a family holiday (vacation). It had been a while since we had a day or two to hang out and explore.

Secondly, we visited the "uni" or university with Summer. She wants to try to go to University of Glasgow. It's a beautiful campus/school. It's 550 years-old! It's amazing to walk on the campus and see all of the old buildings and grounds. Amazing. We were able to meet with an advisor and ask questions and get information about it. It went very well. The people in the UK, and all over Europe for that matter, are very lucky, they pay very little for higher education, if anything at all. We are looking at £9,400 per year, do the math.

And last, but not least, I was invited as a guest speaker/demonstrator by our friend, and fellow wet plate aficionado, Carl Radford. Carl is a great bloke! He and his wife, Liz (see earlier blog, May 2008) hosted the event. Carl invited several wet plate artists from all over the UK to attend this two-day get together. There were eight of us, talking, pouring plates, drinking tea and simply enjoying one another's company.  Jeanne, Summer and I were able to meet some great people on this trip. John Brewer from Manchester, Jo Gain from Coventry (or near there), Katie from Edinburgh, Claire from Wales, Chavonne (sp?) and Craig from Edinburgh or Glasgow, I can't remember.

The book store To say we got a lot out of this trip is an understatement. It was both productive and very, very enjoyable. The wet plate Collodion gathering was terrific. We also enjoyed the galleries and bookstores both in Glasgow and Edinburgh. We went to the GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art) with John and Jo in Glasgow. We met at a little place called, "The Social" and had an espresso. We just missed a Jo Spence show at the GOMA and wanted to see some photography. We ended up wandering into a place called, "Street Level Photography". They had a nice show of emerging artists/photographers there. There was some literature on the table and I found a card for a camera shop nearby. After the gallery, we walked to the camera store and started asking about old lenses. The owners said, "give us an hour and come back, we have some in the basement". So we went next door for some soup and a sandwich (and more espresso of course). An hour later, we went back and both John and Jo scored some nice wet plate lenses for a great deal. It was really cool.

Carl told us about a bookstore in Edinburgh called, "Beyond Words", nothing but photography books. It's small, but very much worth a visit. I saw some classic books as well as some new and interesting ones. I was thinking, "Mine should be in here... a taste of the wet plate world!" There was a little Phaidon book about Joel-Peter Witkin I almost picked up, but didn't. I will probably regret it.

Summer enjoying "Trainspotting" Summer picked up Irvine Welsh's book, "Trainspotting" (yes, like the movie - brilliant). She's almost finished it. A lot of it is in Scottish too! Here's an example, "Way tae fuck ya radge, ah say, shakin ma heid." Very difficult to read, huh?! And, yes, every other word in Scottish is the f-bomb. It's an adjective/modifier here.

I can't express how wonderful it is to walk into a bookstore and see all of the books in English, a language I'm (semi) fluent in! Brilliant!! We spent a lot of time doing things that we miss or don't have access to in Germany. Most people would think we're crazy, but we enjoy it.

This is our last trip for a wee bit.

Suffering From Jet Lag

This is my fourth day back in Germany after a 11 day trip to the United States. I am suffering big-time! I didn't sleep last night at all, well, maybe two hours at the most and it was very light. Today, I feel like I was hit by a truck. They call this jet-lag. To be blunt: I feel like shit.

When traveling across a number of time zones, the body clock will be out of sync with the destination time, as it experiences daylight and darkness contrary to the rhythms to which it has grown accustomed: the body's natural pattern is upset, as the rhythms that dictate times for eating, sleeping, hormone regulation and body temperature variations no longer correspond to the environment nor to each other in some cases. To the degree that the body cannot immediately realign these rhythms, it is jet lagged.

The speed at which the body adjusts to the new schedule is individually determined. Thus, while it may take several days for some people to readjust to a new time zone, others seem to experience little disruption to their body's natural patterns. It is, however, not common to get jet lag from a crossing of only one or two time zones.

The condition is not linked to the length of flight, but to the transmeridian (i.e., east-west) distance traveled. Hence, a ten-hour flight between Frankfurt and Johannesburg, staying roughly on the same meridian, does not cause jet lag, while a five-hour flight between New York and Los Angeles may. Also, the International Date Line should not be confused as contributing to jet lag, as the maximum possible disruption is plus or minus 12 hours. A 20 hour time difference, for example, equals 4 hours of jet lag. Layovers can complicate this simple arithmetic, however.

The symptoms of jet lag can be quite varied and may include the following:
Loss of appetite, nausea, digestive problems
Headache, sinus irritation
Fatigue, irregular sleep patterns
Disorientation, grogginess, irritability
Mild depression

Yes, this is what jet lag looks like - face it.

  And once again, the harsh reality of jet-lag. It's very real.

I know these are difficult to look at, but do you feel my pain now?? I pray to God that I can sleep tonight. I have to go back to work tomorrow.

My Mother: Nov. 8, 1929 - Sept. 1, 2008

Dear Mom,

I love you very much and I'll miss you a lot.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you left for Heaven, but I know you understand. I have sweet and precious memories with you, and of you. Jeanne and Summer send their love. God bless you and goodbye for now. I know I will see you again.

Mom in her casket - September 8, 2008 - Utah

Ida Juanita Gardner (Mom) 2005 Wet Plate Collodion Ambrotype. 

Mom, me and Dad - Mom's 39th birthday - 1968
  Mom and Dad - photo booth 1959

Viareggio, Italy

Today started with a long, hard rain storm. It cleared by 1000 and we were on the road to Viareggio, Italy by noon. It was only 30 minutes from the hotel and a very nice drive.Viareggio, Italy is on the west coast. The Mediterranean Sea is gorgeous and most of it in Viareggio is exclusive (private beaches). However, we didn’t know that. So, the first place we went was the beach called “Perla del Tirreno” (see photo below). We were on a private beach taking pictures, picking up seashells and basking in the sun when a young man approached Jean and told her that this was a private beach and dogs weren’t allowed. It was ok, we were ready to go anyway. It was fun and beautiful! Although, there were people in Speedos and Bikinis there that shouldn’t have been (no, not me!).

After the beach, we wandered the beach walk and ate lunch then did some shopping. Just a WONDERFUL time all around and a giorno bello!

A street painter in Viareggio. It seemed he was teaching these two young ladies how to paint. It smelled wonderful.

Isn't this a cute picture!!!??!!

This is the private beach we "used" - gorgeous!!

Another "sexy-beast" shot (at least that's what Jean calls them).

How dramatic!! Our young Drama Queen!!
Summer braids my hair now. This is random but relavant. You know why!

Is that the Med Sea behind us?? Yes it is!!! (sorry Lucky).

This is the play Jean and Summer went to in Firenze!

This is the way to live!! Bella, Bella Bella!!!!!

Through the Alps Into Italy

I'm sitting in the Da Carlos hotel in Lucca, Italy typing this. I'm 7 miles from the "Pisa Torre" or "Leaning Tower of Pisa" and 45 minutes from Firenza (Florence). Jean and Summer are in the room getting ready for the day. It's 10:40AM September 2, 2007.

We left Germany yesterday (early) morning and drove through Switzerland (Alps) and into Italy. It was a gorgeous drive. The Alps and Tuscony are a visual that I will never forget! We hit a couple of snags along the way; the Autobahn was closed between Karlsruhe (Germany) and Baden Baden (Germany), that was a 20 - 30 minute detour. Then the big one was a Stau (traffic jam) in the tunnels of the Alps. That was another 1.5 hours. No big deal, like I said, it was a beautiful drive!

Today we plan to see the Torre and then train into Firenza. The girls have an opera to go to tonight - La Bohème - it was the inspiration for RENT. Lucky and I will hang out in Florence and maybe do another blog entry with photos from today.

Italy is gorgeous, the people are friendly and the language is awesome!! So passionate!!! BELLISIMA!! Wish you were here! (Click to enlarge the photos)


Driving through the Alps in Switzerland.


The view from our room at the Da Carlos.


Our waiter shot this at dinner last night. We had two bottles (one white and one red) of wonderful local wine. Seafood is the dish here for dinner. I had Sea Bass, Summer had the "fried plate" with squid, octupus, little fish and big fish and Jean had the clams and pasta. It was excellent!



Summer was curious about what she was eating.



The Sea Bass was outstanding!! I loved it!!


Salute! Jean drinking the local white wine (it was YUMMY!)


The (thinking) sexy beast himself sampling the local fruit of the vine.



Lucky enjoying the Lucca morning sun today at breakfast.