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Studio Q Photography

Exploring Human Behavior and Death Anxiety Through Art
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Moonrise Over Las Cruces, New Mexico, 2024

Nihilistic, Pessimistic, or Realistic?

Quinn Jacobson December 22, 2024

A.D. Wallace once described the distinction between radical and moderate pessimism. Radical pessimism, he said, is just called pessimism, while moderate pessimism is called realism. That really resonates with me.

It confuses me why so many people think that being honest and truthful about reality is negative. I’m a truth-seeker, even when the truth is difficult to hear.

The hollowness of it all this time of year hits like a gut punch, doesn’t it? It does for me. The cultural machine revs into overdrive, parading its constructs like a golden calf. For many, it’s “the most wonderful time of the year.” For me? It’s a study in futility, a theater of the absurd dressed in twinkling lights and synthetic cheer. Call me a pessimist if you like—but am I? Or am I just daring to peel back the glittery veneer and point to the uncomfortable truth we’d rather ignore?

Every year, we strap ourselves into this holiday hamster wheel. We buy gifts nobody really wants, often on credit we can’t afford. We drag out pagan symbols, slap on a thin coat of religious rhetoric, and call it tradition. The collective irony and hypocrisy are staggering. And yet, most people would defend it all with tooth and nail, convinced I’m missing the “magic” of it. But I don’t think I am. I think I’m seeing it for exactly what it is.

Look, celebrate whatever you want, however you want—it’s no skin off my back. My point is that, as a culture, we’ve collectively signed up for a ritual of empty commerce and shallow pretense. I opted out years ago. These charades offer me no existential comfort; they churn up more disquiet than solace. Let’s call it what it is: capitalism, draped in the illusion of love and goodwill. The irony deepens when you consider how much of this seasonal spending binge props up industries churning out cheap, disposable products, often imported from halfway around the world. It’s a snake devouring its own tail, all while claiming to serve some higher purpose.

Why do we do this to ourselves? What primal force drives us to act so irrationally, year after year? The answer isn’t buried too deep; it’s fear—specifically, the fear of our own impermanence. Death anxiety, plain and simple. And rather than confront it, we dress it up in tinsel and call it a celebration.

Do you know what a great existential buffer is? Gratitude. Why is gratitude something we schedule? Why can’t we express love and appreciation for the people in our lives in March or August—or whenever the urge strikes us? Why do we let the calendar and commerce dictate the timing of something so personal and profound? The idea that love needs a price tag or a season feels absurd to me. It’s as if we’ve been sold a lie, conned into thinking that authentic connection requires a receipt. It’s ridiculous. Worse, it feels like we’re willing participants in a scam, duped into playing the part of the fool, year after year.

Regardless of how I see things, I sincerely wish everyone the best in 2025. I have a sense it might not be our brightest year, but I hope we all find a way to endure it. Whatever challenges come our way, remember this: it’s all temporary, and in the vast expanse of existence, it’s ultimately meaningless. Let that thought anchor you—it might just offer a glimmer of solace in the darkest moments.

In Nihilism, Writing, Terror Management Theory, Psychology and Art, Philosophy, Organ Mountains, Fake Holidays Tags the holidays, pessimistic philosophy, Nihilsm
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The Organ Mountains the other morning at 0555 on our walk/jog. The skies here are so beautiful and dramatic. It’s a painter’s paradise!

Potential Big News Coming... But First...

Quinn Jacobson July 1, 2024

Hello! And hello, July!! Wow! Time is flying! It’s been over a month since I’ve posted anything here.

Life is wonderful in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Is it hot? Yes! It’s hot; so far, we’ve reached 105.5F (41C). And now we have the rainy season (they call it the monsoon season here). This will continue throughout this month and next.

We like it here a lot. We're still settling in; the garage is filled with boxes; and we're diligently working on our major home renovations, hoping to complete most of them soon. Settling in after a move can take months or even a year or two. That’s where we’re at now—just getting our legs, as they say. However, I’m posting this for a different reason.

I am on the brink of making a significant decision in my life (no, it is not relocating! LOL!). Because of this potential endeavor, I have been absent from my blog or writing here. I’m going to hold off on posting the news until I know for certain that it’s going to happen. I would like to query those who follow my YouTube channel (or this blog) and ask if they would like to engage with weekly live video streams again.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a person who was jumping into the wet collodion process and shared how much they had enjoyed watching my YouTube videos. I appreciate these kinds of comments. I do get a few that write me and tell me they’re engaged with the 200+ videos on my channel and that they’ve found the information helpful, encouraging, or even a bit entertaining.

If you’re interested in joining a live show or even just watching the videos after they’re made, drop me an email or comment here. Let me know if this sounds valuable to you. My main goal would be to engage with the conceptual and the technical (ask questions live or send me emails to address on the show), and if I end up involved with this new venture, I’ll include that in the videos. Moreover, it would be beneficial to have a small community again engaged in talking about life, art, and making pictures.

And no, I’m not selling anything or asking for any commercial compensation; this is strictly for engaging with each other and having meaningful conversations.

Monsoon season in Las Cruces, New Mexico, June 29, 2024, 1730.

In Education, Ernest Becker, Family & Friends, Interdisciplinary, New Mexico, Organ Mountains, Painting, Performative Lectures, Philosophy, Project Work, Quinn's New Book 2024, Sun Mountain, Terror Management Theory, Writing Tags Las Cruces, Big News, Organ Mountains, Clouds and Sky
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From the Rocky Mountains to the Chihuahua Desert

Quinn Jacobson April 7, 2024

We’ve been here just over a week now. So far, we love it. I mean, everything fits and feels good, and we are excited about the future here.

There’s still a lot of work to do, including unpacking, organizing, figuring things out, etc. It’s a process, not an event. We’re on no one’s clock except our own. It’s a wonderful feeling to have a beautiful climate, time to do whatever you want to do, and easy access to most anything you’d need or want. I want to remember how grateful I am for this; I don’t ever want to become desensitized to it. I really appreciate it beyond words.

Jeanne and I trekked out onto some trails behind our house today. We did almost 3 miles and really enjoyed it. There are trails everywhere around here to walk or bicycle on; someone told Jeanne today that there’s one about 2 miles from us that goes south all the way to El Paso, Texas. Wild!

I found myself inspired today by the color and shapes in the desert. I want to paint some of these ideas and start making paint sketches again. And I’m looking forward to getting my darkroom setup again and making some photographs.

Once I’m organized, I’ll begin working on my book again. I really feel like I might be able to finish it this year. That’s my goal. I think with the better environment here, I’ll have more time to devote to it and really make it what I know it can be. About 90% of the writing is complete; it just needs to be edited. And the photography is complete, unless I end up adding anything here. That could happen; I’m not really sure at this point. And I have several paintings that I may include. So, it’s just a matter of carving out time and making it happen. And it will!

In Acrylic Painting, Art & Theory, New Mexico, Organ Mountains Tags new mexico, desert, walks
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