Summer Jacobson's Poetry

We are very proud of Summer. She's smart and beautiful. It always warms our hearts to see her perform (singing/guitar), or to listen to one of her poems. We like to hear her political and social thoughts, too. She's more in touch with the important things in life at 16 years-old than I was at 26 years-old.

She brought home the "Showcase" catalog yesterday. It features work from high school students all over Europe. This was just published in the last few weeks, but it was from work submitted last year (when she was a sophomore). They selected one of her poems for it. Can you guess who the poem is about?

We love you Summer! You make us very, very proud! And, yes, we rocked the vote this time!

Summer Jacobson's poem

Computer Burnout!

Today is a very strange day for me. It has nothing to do with America getting a new president. I think that is "most excellent". It's just one of those weird days. I feel "off", if you know what I mean? I'm kind of tired, feel a little depressed - blue, just off.

I think I may need to take a break from my routines - especially the ones that involve computers. I may be suffering from technology overload or burnout, literally. Here's some questions that told me that I need a break:

1. When you open your email client, does it make you feel anxious about the work that you don't have time to do? Yes
2. Do you ever wish the web or social media would just go away? Yes (Facebook)
3. Do you have email messages sitting in your inbox more than 6 months old that are "pending" further action or unread? Yes
4. Do you sometimes wish you could read or type faster? Yes!
5. Do you experience frustration at the amount of electronic information you need to process daily? Yes
6. Do you sit at your computer for longer than an hour at a time without getting up to take a break? Are you kidding?
7. Is the only time you're off line is when you are sleeping? Yes, well, not really, but it seems that way.
8. Do you feel that you often cannot concentrate? Yes, this is my biggest problem.
9. Are you always seeking out additional information from the Internet or friends online to support a decision or complete a project but never processing it all? Yes
10. Do you get anxious if you are away from the Internet for too long? For sure!
11. Do you open up multiple tabs in your browser and then forget what you were going to do? Yes
12. Is your email, google docs or hard drive filled with "virtual piles" of information or “drafts” that haven't been processed? Yep!
13. Are you afraid to delete email or old files because you're afraid you might just need it someday? Archived
14. Are you unable to locate electronic documents, blog posts, email messages or other online information that you need in the moment without wasting time playing "find the file"? Depends...
15. Do you find yourself easily distracted by online resources that allow you to avoid other, pending work? yes, another big problem area for me!

Okay, how did you do? It's time for me to stop, or slow down at least. And yet, here I am writing about it on a computer!

Can You Believe It? German Press About My Project!

I don't really believe in coincidences, and every once-in-a-great-while something comes along to remind me why I don't believe in coincidences.

Seligenstat Newspaper article about me working in the Jewish cemetery. Last November 9 (2008), which was the 70th Anniversary of Kristallnacht, I was in Seligenstadt, Germany making glass plate photographs in a Jewish cemetery that was destroyed during that pogrom.  My friend, Jan from Berlin, was there and a journalist named Armin Wronski, from the Offenbach Post was there, too. Jan's mother and step-father live in Seligenstadt. Jan and his family arranged for the paper to be there. As I made plates, Armin shot digital photographs of me and Jan told him all about my Kristallnacht project, auf Deustch, of course. I thought this would be a great piece and a huge accomplishment for me if they actually published it. To be honest with you, I didn't think they would. (You can click on the image to enlarge and read)

You have to think about this; I'm an American, with Jewish heritage, in Germany making photographs of one of the most terrible events in human history perpetrated by this country and its people. This is a very difficult and serious topic. It's hard to talk about, it's hard to think about, and a lot of Germans feel ashamed and powerless over the situation. Would you want to publicize this? Of course the angle is soft in this article, it's the technique, the Wet Plate Collodion process, that's intriguing for people. Also, if you know about Germany and the Germans, you'll know how out of place I look/seem in my dark box next to a cemetery, pouring strange chemicals on glass plates. This is not what I would call, "ordnung" - and Germans need things proper and in order. However, the people of Seligenstadt were very kind and gracious to me. They were interested in what I was doing - and that's a wonderful thing for me. I think the fact that the newspaper ran this piece is a testament to their willingness to talk about this, that's the key.

Anyway, back to coincidences; I didn't hear a word about it for two months. Just last week, it entered my mind, "What did they do with that story? Did they ever publish it?" On Monday, January 5, 2009, I wrote Jan and Armin an email asking what became of the story. Jan immediately wrote back and said, "It's in today's paper!" Are you kidding me? I was beside myself and tripping out. I hadn't really even thought about it until that weekend and the day I send the email, it's published!?! Wow! Like I said, no coincidences. What does that mean? Am I psychic? No, I'm not, but I am connected to this in a bigger way than I even think I know about and it's these kinds of things that prove that to me.

If you ever find yourself in a rut and are bored with life, move to Germany and start an art project about the Holocaust. If you have any German friends, ask them to raise interest in the local media about you and your project. And finally, to really get things going, tell them that you have Jewish heritage. Try it sometime, you'll find that it's both rewarding and challenging. Life will NOT be boring anymore.

Follow up - January 12, 2009: After running this by my German friend for a complete translation, I've got to say that I'm not impressed. There's not one mention of Kristallnacht, or the fact that my entire project deals with that. I'm sure he was censored, or censored himself. I had my hopes up. It's a "fluff" piece, and in the big picture, it means, nothing.

An Ambrotype Plugin for Photoshop

First of all, Happy New Year (2009)! I hope all of your dreams, goals and aspirations come to pass. Most of all, I wish you peace. It feels like we're going to need a lot of it in 2009.

Collodion and the Making of Wet-Plate Negatives I've been reading Geoffrey Batchen's book, "Each Wild Idea". I was very moved by the idea of protophotographers and the theories he proposes about the invention of photography and the identity of photography. This got me thinking (again) about wet plate and how we see it today, its past and even its future. What it all means, and why we're even interested in it. It's an ongoing thing with me, I'm still trying to get my head around it and formulate some thoughts about it - forgive me if this is redundant.

I have about ten books (technical) about the Wet Plate Collodion process. The majority of them are from the 19th century. I have one from the Eastman Kodak Company, published in 1935 called, "Collodion and the Making of Wet-Plate Negatives". It's really good, loaded with great information. I've found bits and pieces about the process here and there in various other 20th century books, like "Light and Film". That's where I found Joel Snyder a couple of years ago and his wet-plate revival work that no one has ever talked about. He responded to my email and said this:
 
Dear Quinn,

Thanks for your note.

I produced a permanent exhibition for the Department of the History of Photography of the Smithsonian Institution in 1967. I was in my mid-20s. The exhibit contained 16 examples of important photographic processes, including three forms of wet collodion. In 1976, Doug Munson and I co-founded the Chicago Albumen Works. CAW is now doing all sorts of work preserving, archiving, and replicating negatives for major institutions in the US and Europe. It has been printing in albumen, salt paper, platinum, and POP since 1976. CAW has had printing commissions from MoMA (we printed about 300 Atget negatives on albumen paper for its 4 Atget exhibits 1979-1983), the Met (NYC), etc.

I've been a historian of art at the University of Chicago since 1977. I've no idea why others have received the credit for being first to use use the collodion process in recent times, but it isn't something that concerns me. Doug and I taught ourselves to work with collodion. I was very lucky to meet John Ryan, a retired photoengraver (for R.R. Donnelley, a major printer in the US) who had used collodion for plate-making until the late 1950s. He gave me bottles of Eastman Kodak collodion and Eastman chemicals for making "hard-working" (straight iodides) and "soft working" (iodides, chlorides and bromides) collodion. Most people don't know that Eastman produced collodion for the photomechanical trade. Ryan gave me a few useful tricks for aging collodion rapidly, and for varying the acidity of silver baths in order to get variations in the properties of the sensitized collodion. I still have the bottles, tightly sealed and unused.

Best,
Joel Snyder, Professor
Department of Art History
University of Chicago

Joel Snyder's project in the book, "Light and Film".

Which brings me to my point; A long time ago, I realized that everything that we know about the wet plate collodion process today, we know because of the 19th and 20th century literature. Even the guys working in the 1920s, 30s, and 40s, used that literature. I haven't found one thing, not a thing, that I can't show you in the old manuals that's being used today - recipes, techniques, vocabulary, methodologies, etc. There's absolutely nothing new! Every one of us teaching wet plate today, is simply regurgitating what all of the photographers in the 19th century knew. We're not inventing anything new, nor are we offering anything that can't be found, for free, in the old manuals.

 "Flowing the plate with Collodion"Before you send me emails telling me I'm wrong, I know that they didn't have hair dyers, Rapid Fix, and suction cups back (or did they?) then, so I want to be clear; I mean there's nothing new in the core of the process. Yes, we have some new fancy gadgets to make things a little bit easier today, but there's nothing fundamentally different in the process at all.

That's a very cool thing to think about. Something so good, and so desirable, and yet we can't improve on it after 158 years! We can't make it obsolete! Even my computer is replaced after a couple of years! I know what you're thinking, you're saying, "C'mon Quinn, dry plates, film and now digital have all replaced the wet plate process, so your theory is bunk!" I suppose you could say that. However, I'm talking about the drive to get the same "look and feel" - the same aesthetic, and maybe even the same experience (actually going through the process). It doesn't seem to have become outdated or undesirable. Or am I just looking at this from a tiny, delusional worldview? I suppose I could be writing about Atari Pong, or some other small, obscure niche group, couldn't I? After all, that's what this is.

With today's technology, why can't we, or why won't we, replicate the aesthetic of wet plate? There's a demand for it, no doubt about that. But is there enough demand to profit from it? There are all kinds of filters and effects in Adobe Photoshop - watercolor, canvas, crosshatch (my favorite), dry brush, film grain, fresco, neon glow, plastic wrap, and a lot more - why not one for wet plate? If there was an Ambrotype Plugin for Adobe Photoshop, would you stop using the process? Or are you after something more, something beyond Photoshop?

 

Videos, Graphics and My Hopes for The New Year

The videos series has been in the making for about three year (since 2005). With help from Summer and Jeanne, I've made major progress on my Collodion Workshop videos. I appreciate the email I get (almost daily) regarding the video classes. It motivates me to get them done. It's a huge undertaking and I'm glad there are people interested in them.

Over the last few months, I’ve kind of reinvented myself. I designed a new(er) logo and launched a new web site. I believe everything is in flux, always changing, and that’s how I tend to live. I’m always in need of something new, it keeps me going. Having said, that, I’ve posted a couple of ideas for my new logos. I really like these. The circle has always got me going - representing infinity, eternity, etc. And the simple black and white “Q” rocks. It’s clean, it’s easy on the eye and is completely me. Actually, the text around the logo is what’s new. I like this because it reminds me of a stamp. It’s tidy and circular. I would love to have a metal (embossing) stamp made of this - like a notary stamp. It would be cool to emboss photographs - paper ones, not glass plates.

Also, this "collodion video venture" forced me into buying another domain. It's a long technical story about servers. It's about IIS versus Linux and ASP versus PHP. The membership software needed to live on a Linux box, my studioQ.com domain lives on a Windows box. I ended up buying studioQ.info - I like it, it's very appropriate for what it will be used for. It was Jeanne's idea to go with .info - thanks Sweetie! Great idea!

Well, I'm glad the consumption holiday is over. Now all we have to do is to get through the gluttony holiday. Here in Germany, they light fireworks, and I mean HUGE, NOISY ones. I can't stand it. They have some strange rituals at midnight on New Year's as well too. The first year we were here, it freaked us out.

I hope everyone has great plans for the new year. 2009 is going to be one of personal work and introspection for me. Of course we'll do some traveling too. Right now, we're planning to spend some time in  Brussels, Belgium the first week of February and The Netherlands the last week of February. In April, we'll be back in Vienna, Austria and possibly Budapest, Hungary.

New Year's resolutions? No, I don't have any New Year's resolutions. The only one I might have is to not make any resolutions. However, here's what I hope for the new year:

1. Live my life to the fullest and to be present as much as possible.

2. Don't be a participant or a bystander in the evil in the world.

3. Take chances and don't be afraid to fail.

4. Be grateful for everything.

5. Make a difference in other people's lives.

6. Put other people before myself (as much as possible). 

Those are my hopes for the new year. Why six? Because my number is six.

 

These Collodion Videos Are Kicking My Ass

They really are. This is why I know I could never make movies. This is much, much bigger than I anticipated. One thing after another is going wrong. I think I get prepared and something I didn't think of happens. Today, it was the batteries dying in the wireless microphone system.

I shot all of the intros to every chemical yesterday, two hours of tape, and the battery was dead in the receiver in 90% of it! I didn't know until today when I went to capture the tape. I almost had a breakdown! And today, the battery died in the transmitter halfway through the video on making varnish! I can't get anything finished! Why is all of this happening? It's like bad joojoo is living in this project. It upsets me and makes me sad all at the same time.

It's too bad that I don't have access to a college or university. I could recruit three or four interns that would love to work on this project with me. It's a shame that no one here is interested. I could use the help!

Anyway, I'll do my best to move forward with this project and make it happen. However, I don't see it being completed at the first of the year (as I had originally intended). With any luck, I'll open the web site, send off the master DVD and the book for publication sometime in January. And hopefully, I'll look back on all of this and laugh.

I'm off to go buy some batteries!

God, The Holocaust & Aerosol Cheese: Things That Are Difficult To Understand

Cheese in a can - cheddar flavor! Who are you, and who am I? Isn't that what we're trying to figure out? It's frustrating when things like money and ego get in the way of our understanding and joy. How is it that we seem so confused about what's important? Is it fear? Does fear keep us from love, peace, and joy in our lives?

It’s difficult to comprehend most things in life, especially the big things. Things like God, the Holocaust, and aerosol cheese (okay, aerosol cheese isn't big, but it's difficult to understand). It’s difficult, because most of us never give enough thought to anything to even start to understand it, let alone make any effort to research it or read other’s thoughts on it. We seem apathetic and lazy. We, mostly Americans, seem obsessed with the superficial and the innocuous, things that won’t mean anything in six months, or a year from now. I don’t believe that we don’t care or that we’re lazy, I think it’s because we’re afraid. We’re scared. We’re afraid to know. We’re afraid of getting old. We’re afraid of getting fat. We’re afraid of going grey. We’re afraid that we’re not smart enough, good looking enough, thin enough, rich enough, strong enough, desirable enough, healthy enough, funny enough, never enough, enough, etc. etc. We’re afraid. And we do crazy things to hide and disguise that fear so we never have to face it.

Think about the pressure we feel to live up to other people’s expectations. Like the pressure to buy a big, beautiful house that we can’t afford or a nice, new car that we don’t really need. Things that we put a lot of “ourselves” into, at the very least, things that we anchor some portion of identity to. Think about what that means – saying that a big house or a new car is “me”, or that they represent “me”, is repulsive when you think about it. However, the need to say, “Look, I’m good enough, see!” is overwhelming and powerful.

How about the power of having money, that’s a big one. It’s sad, you could say you scrubbed toilets for a living but got paid $250,000 a year for it and people would be asking, “How do you qualify for that kind of job?” and, “Where can I apply?”.

We seem overly eager and very willing to sell out and prostitute ourselves for money. We’ll work at a job we hate for 20 or 30 years and be miserable every day, but we never really give our passions or our dreams a chance. Why is that? Do we still believe what our parents told us growing up? “You should be a doctor or lawyer; those professions earn a lot of money!” They said that because they were close enough to the “Great Depression” that they still carry all of that angst and anxiety and aren’t afraid to share it with us. Just because they never followed their dreams, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow ours.

I’m tired of being afraid. It’s back in the air now, credit crisis, bad economy, etc. We moved from the fear of terrorists to the fear of having no job. I’m tired of it. I want peace and joy back into my life and I want to follow my passions and dreams.

Pursue your passion, not your pension!

The Transports

Train tracks in DachauMy friend, Caron, gave me a great idea for my Kristallnacht project. She suggested that I make images of train tracks and stations that were instrumental in moving Jews to the concentration camps. "The Final Solution" could not have happened without the railways, without the trains making the mass transport possible. The Germans sent 30,000 Jewish men to Dachau and Sachsenhausen on Kristallnacht by way of trains.

The photo on the left is one I snapped at Dachau one year ago (December 2007). I remember thinking, "These are the rails that carried all of those people to their death". It was profoundly sad and visually striking to me.

This is a very insightful and interesting idea on many levels. It resonates with me simply for the fact of how much we us railroad metaphors and how they take on a whole new meaning here in Germany. For example, "derailed"or "derailing", "track wreck", "just the ticket", "off track", "one track mind", "railroaded", "fast track", "express", "letting off steam", "blowing your stack", "tunnel vision", "bells and whistles" and "end of the line". I see trains here in that kind of context.

The transports were usually cattle cars. At times, the floor of the car had a layer of quick lime which burned the feet of the human cargo. There was no water. There was no food. There was no toilet, no ventilation. Some boxcars had up to 150 people stuffed into them. It did not matter if it was summer, winter, boiling hot or freezing cold. And an average transport took about four and a half days. Sometimes the Germans did not have enough cars to make it worth their while to do a major shipment of Jews to the camps, so the victims were stuck in a switching yard - "standing room only" - for two and a half days. The longest transport, from Corfu, took 18 days. When the train got to the camps and the doors were opened, and everyone was dead.