Videos, Graphics and My Hopes for The New Year
The videos series has been in the making for about three year (since 2005). With help from Summer and Jeanne, I've made major progress on my Collodion Workshop videos. I appreciate the email I get (almost daily) regarding the video classes. It motivates me to get them done. It's a huge undertaking and I'm glad there are people interested in them.
Over the last few months, I’ve kind of reinvented myself. I designed a new(er) logo and launched a new web site. I believe everything is in flux, always changing, and that’s how I tend to live. I’m always in need of something new, it keeps me going. Having said, that, I’ve posted a couple of ideas for my new logos. I really like these. The circle has always got me going - representing infinity, eternity, etc. And the simple black and white “Q” rocks. It’s clean, it’s easy on the eye and is completely me. Actually, the text around the logo is what’s new. I like this because it reminds me of a stamp. It’s tidy and circular. I would love to have a metal (embossing) stamp made of this - like a notary stamp. It would be cool to emboss photographs - paper ones, not glass plates.
Also, this "collodion video venture" forced me into buying another domain. It's a long technical story about servers. It's about IIS versus Linux and ASP versus PHP. The membership software needed to live on a Linux box, my studioQ.com domain lives on a Windows box. I ended up buying studioQ.info - I like it, it's very appropriate for what it will be used for. It was Jeanne's idea to go with .info - thanks Sweetie! Great idea!
Well, I'm glad the consumption holiday is over. Now all we have to do is to get through the gluttony holiday. Here in Germany, they light fireworks, and I mean HUGE, NOISY ones. I can't stand it. They have some strange rituals at midnight on New Year's as well too. The first year we were here, it freaked us out.
I hope everyone has great plans for the new year. 2009 is going to be one of personal work and introspection for me. Of course we'll do some traveling too. Right now, we're planning to spend some time in Brussels, Belgium the first week of February and The Netherlands the last week of February. In April, we'll be back in Vienna, Austria and possibly Budapest, Hungary.
New Year's resolutions? No, I don't have any New Year's resolutions. The only one I might have is to not make any resolutions. However, here's what I hope for the new year:
1. Live my life to the fullest and to be present as much as possible.
2. Don't be a participant or a bystander in the evil in the world.
3. Take chances and don't be afraid to fail.
4. Be grateful for everything.
5. Make a difference in other people's lives.
6. Put other people before myself (as much as possible).
Those are my hopes for the new year. Why six? Because my number is six.
These Collodion Videos Are Kicking My Ass
They really are. This is why I know I could never make movies. This is much, much bigger than I anticipated. One thing after another is going wrong. I think I get prepared and something I didn't think of happens. Today, it was the batteries dying in the wireless microphone system.
I shot all of the intros to every chemical yesterday, two hours of tape, and the battery was dead in the receiver in 90% of it! I didn't know until today when I went to capture the tape. I almost had a breakdown! And today, the battery died in the transmitter halfway through the video on making varnish! I can't get anything finished! Why is all of this happening? It's like bad joojoo is living in this project. It upsets me and makes me sad all at the same time.
It's too bad that I don't have access to a college or university. I could recruit three or four interns that would love to work on this project with me. It's a shame that no one here is interested. I could use the help!
Anyway, I'll do my best to move forward with this project and make it happen. However, I don't see it being completed at the first of the year (as I had originally intended). With any luck, I'll open the web site, send off the master DVD and the book for publication sometime in January. And hopefully, I'll look back on all of this and laugh.
I'm off to go buy some batteries!
God, The Holocaust & Aerosol Cheese: Things That Are Difficult To Understand
It’s difficult to comprehend most things in life, especially the big things. Things like God, the Holocaust, and aerosol cheese (okay, aerosol cheese isn't big, but it's difficult to understand). It’s difficult, because most of us never give enough thought to anything to even start to understand it, let alone make any effort to research it or read other’s thoughts on it. We seem apathetic and lazy. We, mostly Americans, seem obsessed with the superficial and the innocuous, things that won’t mean anything in six months, or a year from now. I don’t believe that we don’t care or that we’re lazy, I think it’s because we’re afraid. We’re scared. We’re afraid to know. We’re afraid of getting old. We’re afraid of getting fat. We’re afraid of going grey. We’re afraid that we’re not smart enough, good looking enough, thin enough, rich enough, strong enough, desirable enough, healthy enough, funny enough, never enough, enough, etc. etc. We’re afraid. And we do crazy things to hide and disguise that fear so we never have to face it.
Think about the pressure we feel to live up to other people’s expectations. Like the pressure to buy a big, beautiful house that we can’t afford or a nice, new car that we don’t really need. Things that we put a lot of “ourselves” into, at the very least, things that we anchor some portion of identity to. Think about what that means – saying that a big house or a new car is “me”, or that they represent “me”, is repulsive when you think about it. However, the need to say, “Look, I’m good enough, see!” is overwhelming and powerful.
How about the power of having money, that’s a big one. It’s sad, you could say you scrubbed toilets for a living but got paid $250,000 a year for it and people would be asking, “How do you qualify for that kind of job?” and, “Where can I apply?”.
We seem overly eager and very willing to sell out and prostitute ourselves for money. We’ll work at a job we hate for 20 or 30 years and be miserable every day, but we never really give our passions or our dreams a chance. Why is that? Do we still believe what our parents told us growing up? “You should be a doctor or lawyer; those professions earn a lot of money!” They said that because they were close enough to the “Great Depression” that they still carry all of that angst and anxiety and aren’t afraid to share it with us. Just because they never followed their dreams, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow ours.
I’m tired of being afraid. It’s back in the air now, credit crisis, bad economy, etc. We moved from the fear of terrorists to the fear of having no job. I’m tired of it. I want peace and joy back into my life and I want to follow my passions and dreams.
Pursue your passion, not your pension!
The Transports
The photo on the left is one I snapped at Dachau one year ago (December 2007). I remember thinking, "These are the rails that carried all of those people to their death". It was profoundly sad and visually striking to me.
This is a very insightful and interesting idea on many levels. It resonates with me simply for the fact of how much we us railroad metaphors and how they take on a whole new meaning here in Germany. For example, "derailed"or "derailing", "track wreck", "just the ticket", "off track", "one track mind", "railroaded", "fast track", "express", "letting off steam", "blowing your stack", "tunnel vision", "bells and whistles" and "end of the line". I see trains here in that kind of context.
The transports were usually cattle cars. At times, the floor of the car had a layer of quick lime which burned the feet of the human cargo. There was no water. There was no food. There was no toilet, no ventilation. Some boxcars had up to 150 people stuffed into them. It did not matter if it was summer, winter, boiling hot or freezing cold. And an average transport took about four and a half days. Sometimes the Germans did not have enough cars to make it worth their while to do a major shipment of Jews to the camps, so the victims were stuck in a switching yard - "standing room only" - for two and a half days. The longest transport, from Corfu, took 18 days. When the train got to the camps and the doors were opened, and everyone was dead.
Nazis Spread The Hate Around
I'm a lot more sensitive to these kinds of acts now. It's always been disgusting to me, but it's taken on a new level. It makes me want to become a full-time activist.
It's irrelevant who this kind of hate is directed toward. In the end, it all comes back on humanity. If there's anything to learn from the Holocaust (Shoah), (and for the record I don't think there is) it's that we're all responsible for these kinds of things. Indifference and ignorance being the greatest crimes. I ask myself everyday if I'm part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Destruction of a Muslim cemetery in Paris. PARIS — A Nazi swastika symbol is seen among desecrated tombs in the Muslim section of the Notre-Dame-de-Lorette military cemetery near Arras, northern France, Monday Dec. 8, 2008. Officials say that several hundred tombs of Muslim soldiers who fought in World War I, have been desecrated in northern France in an act the French president denounces as "repugnant racism". The desecration comes at the start of the Muslim festival of Eid al-Adha. There is no translation for the letters which mark the tombstones.(AP Photo/Michel Spingler).
Vandals desecrated at least 500 tombs of Muslim soldiers in northern France on Monday _ an act President Nicolas Sarkozy denounced as "repugnant racism."
The desecration near the town of Arras appeared timed with the start of Eid al-Adha, the most important holiday in the Muslim calendar.
The administration for the Pas-de-Calais region said the damaged tombs were in the Muslim section of the Notre-Dame-de-Lorette cemetery, a well-groomed burial ground for World War I soldiers. Some had swastikas scrawled on the tombstone, others had lettering whose meaning was unclear.
There are 576 graves in the Muslim section of the cemetery, where more than 30,000 soldiers are buried.
Sarkozy, in a statement, said the "abject and revolting act" equates with "repugnant racism against France's Muslim community" and insults the memory of all World War I combatants.
Conscientious Objector
I've had enough. I'm sick of it. And I refuse to participate. I don't care what anyone thinks about me saying that either. Call me what you will for not participating in mass consumption, for any "holiday", but especially this one.
It's a scam to make super-consumers out of everyone. To rob us of our dignity and shame us with empty, meaningless stuff. We know better!
If people really cared for one another, we wouldn't be in (pick a mess, any mess) the mess we're in today. Period. And we want to indoctrinate our children with this? Come on! They're already facing a very uncertain future. Why do we want to burden them with this? And don't say it's fun and joyful, it's not, we all know that.
Where are the friendships, family love, and empathy in March or April or when people really need it? Where are the gifts given in conversation and in listening to one another about individual interests or ideas? Why can't we give those kinds of things throughout the year?
I would much rather have a meaningful conversation with someone than receive material "stuff" from them. I would prefer one minute of real conversation over a thousand hours of fake "weather conversation" and forced dinners with people I don't even really know. But we all do it, don't we? We know it's wrong and meaningless, but we do it anyway. Why? Why not be honest and real? What's so shameful or embarrassing about being who we are? I don't get it?
Think about all of the parents that don't really even know their (adult) children. Siblings that are clueless about one another (as in really knowing one another). I tried to communicate to my mother about who I am and what I believe is important in my life before she died. And I continue to talk to my father about it too. It's not easy.
Even here in Europe, the consumer craze in catching on. Germans love their Weinnacht Markts and hot Glühwein (puke). You can see the American influence to consume creeping in and taking over. How long will they last?
I was walking through Real the other day and saw a copy of Bild. It had some German guy on the front page talking about how Hitler was a nice guy. I bought it so I could read that article and saw this ad in it. The Santa drinking an Erdinger (which is good beer) reminded me of how I felt about this time of year. That's why I went on this rant.
Having said all of that, it doesn't mean that I don't love you and miss you, I do. That's why I said all of this, I want to show my love and appreciation in a different and new way. Do you want to join me?
Inspect Your Worst, I Mean Wurst
This is from Portnoy Stammtisch on the topic of "poo platforms". It was "World Toilet Day" on November 19. No kidding.
To most newcomers to this fine country, the contraption is an enigma. Who would want a shelf, just inches from your backside, that collects your business while allowing you to revel in your own stench? Not even a mercy flush is much help with this thing. And, to make matters worse, it's almost impossible to get rid of what you want to get rid of without the manual assistance of a toilet brush.
Germans, perhaps tired of having to defend this terrible device to perplexed outsiders, usually just shrug if you bring it up.
It wasn’t until I’d lived here for several years that I finally found one who I believed would give me a straight answer. In a newsroom of mixed nationalities, we were blessed with a German colleague of questionably fervent patriotism (let’s not use the adjective “brown” in this context, okay?) with an amazing knowledge and love of Teutonic culture. I would never have managed to squeeze out a question about the platform on my own but emboldened by my other English-tongued colleagues, I let it fly.
"It’s so you can inspect your poo. You can tell if you’re eating right," he told us in all seriousness. Rolf (name changed) was über-German – I've only ever met Dutch or Swiss who can speak with less irony. Actually, I’m being too kind. What he really said was: “It’s so you can inspect your Wurst.”
Summer Performing With The Jazz-Rock Band
You go girl! Rockin' da hiss-houss all up in dis hot tranny mess!! But seriously, this is a small sampling from her performance last night! An awesome performance, we love you!
Summer performing in the Jazz-Rock Band - Mannheim High SchoolBuilding A Better Mouse Trap, German Style
When we were in Vienna, I was listening to my podcasts of, "This American Life" (TAL). It's one of my favorite shows. It's both funny and full of crazy, interesting information. You know, the stuff that makes the you ponder the world and everyone in it. I couldn't believe what I heard that night listening to a segment called, "Building a Better Mouse Trap".
The host, Ira Glass, talks with Andy Woolworth, an executive vice president in charge of new product development at the world's largest manufacturer of mousetraps, Woodstream Corporation, in Lititz, Pennsylvania. About once a month, Andy is contacted by someone who thinks he's invented a better mousetrap. He and Ira review some of the ideas that seemed particularly bad. The one that caught my attention is especially bizarre. I clipped it out of the program - this is an MP3 of it (1.2MB give it a minute to download into your browser). Get your head around that one!