God, The Holocaust & Aerosol Cheese: Things That Are Difficult To Understand

Cheese in a can - cheddar flavor! Who are you, and who am I? Isn't that what we're trying to figure out? It's frustrating when things like money and ego get in the way of our understanding and joy. How is it that we seem so confused about what's important? Is it fear? Does fear keep us from love, peace, and joy in our lives?

It’s difficult to comprehend most things in life, especially the big things. Things like God, the Holocaust, and aerosol cheese (okay, aerosol cheese isn't big, but it's difficult to understand). It’s difficult, because most of us never give enough thought to anything to even start to understand it, let alone make any effort to research it or read other’s thoughts on it. We seem apathetic and lazy. We, mostly Americans, seem obsessed with the superficial and the innocuous, things that won’t mean anything in six months, or a year from now. I don’t believe that we don’t care or that we’re lazy, I think it’s because we’re afraid. We’re scared. We’re afraid to know. We’re afraid of getting old. We’re afraid of getting fat. We’re afraid of going grey. We’re afraid that we’re not smart enough, good looking enough, thin enough, rich enough, strong enough, desirable enough, healthy enough, funny enough, never enough, enough, etc. etc. We’re afraid. And we do crazy things to hide and disguise that fear so we never have to face it.

Think about the pressure we feel to live up to other people’s expectations. Like the pressure to buy a big, beautiful house that we can’t afford or a nice, new car that we don’t really need. Things that we put a lot of “ourselves” into, at the very least, things that we anchor some portion of identity to. Think about what that means – saying that a big house or a new car is “me”, or that they represent “me”, is repulsive when you think about it. However, the need to say, “Look, I’m good enough, see!” is overwhelming and powerful.

How about the power of having money, that’s a big one. It’s sad, you could say you scrubbed toilets for a living but got paid $250,000 a year for it and people would be asking, “How do you qualify for that kind of job?” and, “Where can I apply?”.

We seem overly eager and very willing to sell out and prostitute ourselves for money. We’ll work at a job we hate for 20 or 30 years and be miserable every day, but we never really give our passions or our dreams a chance. Why is that? Do we still believe what our parents told us growing up? “You should be a doctor or lawyer; those professions earn a lot of money!” They said that because they were close enough to the “Great Depression” that they still carry all of that angst and anxiety and aren’t afraid to share it with us. Just because they never followed their dreams, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow ours.

I’m tired of being afraid. It’s back in the air now, credit crisis, bad economy, etc. We moved from the fear of terrorists to the fear of having no job. I’m tired of it. I want peace and joy back into my life and I want to follow my passions and dreams.

Pursue your passion, not your pension!

"Ich bin ein Berliner?"

My first impressions of Berlin were, "Ummm, this is Berlin?" In other words, I wasn't that impressed. It's a large city, some 3 - 4 million people. It's spread out and takes forever to get anywhere (by foot). The U-Bahn is good, but again, somewhat inconvenient. However, I think the biggest let down was the "industrial" feel of the place. I'm not going to kvetch about the entire trip or city, because there are some very good things in Berlin to experience.

 Suckin' the espresso!
The Jewish Museum Berlin: This is an amazing place. Moreover, we got to see an exhibit called, "Typisch - Klichees von Juden und Anderen" ("Stereotypes - Cliches of Jews and Others"). The show consists of common stereotypes about groups of people as well as out right racial and ethnicity issues. It's frightening when I think about all of the subtle racial and ethnic beliefs we all have. There were a couple of very moving/interesting pieces in the show. The first was "49 Jewish Noses" from Dennis Kardon. It was interesting to find the "nose" of Nan Goldin in this piece. She's a photographer that I like (and met once). When I met her, I was challenging her on her view, and what she had said about the work of Donna Ferrato. She said I was "belligerent". I thought that it was uncalled for at the time, but I my passion sometimes translates as aggression. Another piece that stood out was called, "You Don't Have To Be Jewish To Love Levy's Real Jewish Rye" by Howard Zieff. I bought the catalog/book.

"49 Jewish Noses" 

Anne Sprinkle, Tit Print

 
"A Bookend"


"You Don't Have to be Jewish..."

The museum is huge. You could spend days in it and not see everything. I had flashbacks of the Louvre when we were walking through it. It starts at the beginning of the Jewish history and works its way through the Holocaust. Daniel Liebeskind did an amazing job with the architecture. If you look at an aerial of the building is looks like a broken star of David.

Jeanne and Quinn The Memorial we were iin.
  
This is the memorial we were in (above photo)
those are olive trees growing on the tops of the
pillars - the ground is uneven and disorienting.

One place that was especially moving is called "The Holocaust Tower". Jean and I were the only ones in it for a few minutes. It's very dark and very cold. There is one bit of light at the top (way up there) and you can hear the outside world. It was eerie. When we tried to leave, I couldn't open the door (I was pulling and should have been pushing) it freaked me out!  There was a large room with metal "faces" called "Fallen Leaves" this too was very moving and eerie - I've uploaded a video here.

Inside the Holocaust Tower
When we were finished at the museum, we headed over to "Checkpoint Charlie" and "The Wall". It was a great day, and like all of our adventures here, will be indelibly burned into our memories!

Checkpoint Charlie: East Germany met West Germany

West Berlin - US Soldier photo.

 
"The 'real' still standing wall that separated
the East from the West - mind blowing history"

  
East Berlin - Soviet Soldier photo.

  
"Quinn and Jean in front of a piece of the Wall"

Wet Plate Collodion Photography: Kristallnacht

I feel comfortable enough now to start telling people about what I'm doing here - in a more public way. It's a difficult position to be when you want to keep the idea to yourself until you know (or at least think you know) you can pull it off and getting attention and support for it. Ultimately, I'm going to have to get a lot of attention on this project for it to be able to do what I want.

Unfortunately, I don't have much confidence that the German people will respond well to this project. It's an unhealed land and people in a lot of ways. Forgiveness and the acceptance of forgiveness isn't evident to me - this is still a very taboo topic here.

Wet Plate Collodion Photography: Kristallnacht